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In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it a valuable work experience which is important for learning and taking responsibility What is your opinion v.3

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it a valuable work experience which is important for learning and taking responsibility What is your opinion v. 3
In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion? third world societies children are involved in work field, due to the socioeconomic conditions. Some people argue about the advantages of letting the children take responsibilities and tackle real life problems. Others perceive it as a violation of children’s rights, which is totally unacceptable in many sophisticated societies. Many people consider children’s work issue as a crime against children who have the right to have a normal and comfort life. As children are very vulnerable at that young age, and yet are not qualified to bear the burden of work-related activities. Moreover, in most cases, children are mistreated and abused by their bosses which causes many psychological and physical problems to the afflicted ones all over their lives. Another harmful ramification of this issue is that the children who work are more likely neglect their education on favour of their work. Therefore, most of these children do not have a chance for better future. On the flip side, many unprivileged and impoverished families consider having their children to work as an essential need, in order to get regular financial support. Besides, many studies have found that in comparison to their peers; children who work at very young age are more dependable, resilient and less damaging. Other would argue that working at young age can teach the child how to tackle real life problems easily and it gives him the chance to learn an occupation that can be grown and used in building his future. I believe that, children should not work because they are extremely fragile to put up with all the amount of strain that work requires; without being harmed emotionally and psychologically. They should have completely normal and stress-free childhood that enables them to grow up naturally, and become strong and well-educated individuals who can contribute to their nations’ development. In a few words, children’s work has been a controversial issue; as the world’s economy took nosedive, the widespread of this phenomenon increases everyday. People have different opinions about the effects of this issue on children. While some people may support it, others oppose it. Although, having discussions about it, doesn’t make any difference in children’s life!
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are engaged
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regard this as completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, while others consider it a valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
third
world societies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
field, due to the socioeconomic conditions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue about the advantages of letting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take responsibilities and tackle real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
problems. Others perceive it as a violation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
rights, which is
totally
unacceptable in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sophisticated societies.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
as a crime against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have the right to have a normal and comfort
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vulnerable at that young age, and
yet
are not qualified to bear the burden of work-related activities.
Moreover
,
in most cases
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are mistreated
and abused by their bosses which causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
psychological and physical problems to the afflicted ones all over their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Another harmful ramification of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
are more likely neglect their education on
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Therefore
, most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not have a chance for better future.

On the flip side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unprivileged and impoverished families consider having their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as an essential need, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
regular financial support.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies have found that
in comparison
to their peers;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age are more dependable, resilient and less damaging.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
would argue that working at young age can teach the child how to tackle real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
problems
easily
and it gives him the chance to learn an occupation that can
be grown
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in building his future.

I believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
extremely
fragile to put up with all the amount of strain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
requires; without
being harmed
emotionally
and
psychologically
. They should have completely normal and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free childhood that enables them to grow up
naturally
, and become strong and well-educated individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can contribute to their nations’ development.

In a few words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has been a controversial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
; as the world’s economy took nosedive,
The phrase 'the widespread of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the widespread of
this phenomenon increases
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about the effects of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may support it, others oppose it.

Although, having discussions about it, doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
!
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS letter In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it a valuable work experience which is important for learning and taking responsibility What is your opinion v. 3

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
398 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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