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Some people believes that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is importa v.2

Some people believes that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is importa v. 2
In the state of this art society, there are several ideas suppose that allowing children to decide their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, entertainment) that likely make for them a bad habit. Other people think that it is necessary for children to make decision about issues that affect them. this essay is going to debate about this problem. In my considerate, both of views above that always have two points of individuals which it is good and bad. Firstly, when we respect children’s idea such as agree for them who can make and choice everything on their life, then, children will be taught by their parents the way how to respect everyone because children have innocently mind, so they recognize adult’s action in order that mimic and learn too fast. Secondly, children gradually study and develop their mental, more independent on their habits. For instance, a child always has to hear opinions from their parents who like a strong-girl, so they compel their daughter have to wear jeans, T-shirt, and sneaker even though she just likes princess dresses and ballet pumps. Moreover, in Viet Nam on feudal frame, people said “parents site any place, child have to sit there” that it is mean parents will choose wife or husband for their child, afterward, they have to marry. but, a wedding doesn’t have love whether they can happy. In another hand, if dad and mom always allow for the children can do everything they want, and make them satisfy with their demand that will create for them a bad routine cause they know mom or dad who are going to respond their offers. Hence, they become a person just think about their self, and their emotion. In conclusion, two points of this views above have good and not good face. but, I believe respect children’s idea which have more pros than the second opinion. I think adults who should adjust several things in order that don’t make for children have bad behave.
In the state of this art society, there are several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
suppose that allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to decide their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, entertainment) that likely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
for them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habit. Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
decision about issues that affect them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay is going to debate about this problem.

In my considerate, both of views above that always have two points of individuals which it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
.
Firstly
, when we respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
for them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
and choice everything on their life, then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
be taught
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
the way how to respect everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
innocently
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "minded".
mind
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they recognize adult’s action in order that mimic and learn too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
gradually
study and develop their mental, more independent on their habits.
For instance
, a child always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
hear opinions from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
like a strong-girl,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they compel their daughter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear jeans, T-shirt, and sneaker
even though
she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
likes princess dresses and ballet pumps.
Moreover
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam on feudal frame,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“parents
site any place, child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sit there” that it is mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will choose wife or husband for their child, afterward, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
marry.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
, a wedding doesn’t have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
whether they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
can happy
.

In another hand, if dad and mom always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can do everything they want, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them satisfy with their demand that will create for them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
routine
Did you mean "because they"?
cause they
know mom or dad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are going to respond their offers.
Hence
, they become a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their self, and their emotion.

In conclusion
, two points of
Did you mean "these"?
this
views above have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
face.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
, I believe respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
which have more pros than the second opinion. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
should adjust several things in order that don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
behave.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believes that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is importa v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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