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Some people believes that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is importa v.1

Some people believes that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is importa v. 1
Since communication with others comprises a very essential aspect of our daily life, any alteration in the way we communicate with each other will have a profound effect on our social and professional life. This essay will first discuss how technology has influenced the way we relate with each other presently and will then address the question of whether this influence has been positive or negative. There are several ways in which the new communication technology has influenced people’s way of interaction with each other. Firstly, social media applications have revolutionized the way we communicate. The reason why many people believe this is that nowadays, you can connect with your family and friends instantly through many social media applications such as the Facebook and twitter applications. It is also possible to say that people are now more encouraged to share their opinions openly via the Internet. One good illustration for this is the substantial number of friends that people who use social media applications have in their contact list. However, the impact of social media in one’s social life may not always be positive. This is because people are now increasingly abandoning face to face interactions and prefer carrying out their communication behind closed doors. This is causing more people, especially youths, to lose out on many aspects of personal communication. A particularly good example here is a study conducted in the USA showing that more than 75% of high school students are spending more than 50% of their free time on the Internet. To sum up, modern technological advances in communication have incredibly influenced the way people interact, and although there are many perks associated with the use of recent technology there are also drawbacks that people must take care of.
Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
with others comprises a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential aspect of our daily life, any alteration in the way we communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
will have a profound effect on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and professional life. This essay will
first
discuss how technology has influenced the way we relate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
presently
and will then address
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
this influence has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

There are several ways in which the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
technology has influenced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
way of interaction with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
have revolutionized the way we communicate. The reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe this is that nowadays, you can connect with your family and friends
instantly
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
such as the Facebook and twitter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
. It is
also
possible to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more encouraged to share their opinions
openly
via the Internet. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration for this is the substantial number of friends that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
have in their contact list.

However
, the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life may not always be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
increasingly
abandoning face to face interactions and prefer carrying out their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
behind closed doors. This is causing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
youths, to lose out on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is a study conducted in the USA showing that more than 75% of high school students are spending more than 50% of their free time on the Internet.

To sum up, modern technological advances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
have
incredibly
influenced the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interact, and although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
perks associated with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of recent technology there are
also
drawbacks that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take care of.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believes that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is importa v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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