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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement v.1

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices to this statement v. 1
Over the last decade, there has been a massive rise in the level of crime committed by teenagers in a number of countries. It is important to establish why this has happened and to look at ways to solve the problem. One reason is the breakdown in the nuclear family. The high divorce rates have meant many children have been brought up in one-parent families with no father to act as a role model which is detrimental to their development. This is particularly important for boys, who without this guidance are easily led astray by bad influences such as drugs and crime. Another factor is the lack of things to do for the young. For example, in the UK, many television programs about this issue have shown that teenagers hang around in the evenings with little to do. When this happens, the boredom means they will find their own entertainment, which is often a crime. There are, however, ways to tackle these problems. Firstly, the government should provide more support for families. They could, for instance, invest more into building and staffing youth Centre’s which would provide guidance through the youth workers and also enable teenagers to focus their attention on sport and other activities. Parents should also be encouraged to take more responsibility for their children. Ultimately, the onus is on them to ensure their children are brought up in a loving environment which would make them less likely to turn to crime. They could, for example, find a male relative to act as a role model. Therefore, it is clear that there are various reasons for this rise in crime, but solutions are available. If we begin to tackle the issue now, we may be able to prevent the situation declining further.
Over the last decade, there has been a massive rise in the level of
crime
committed by
teenagers
in a number of countries. It is
important
to establish why this has happened and to look at ways to solve the problem.

One reason is the breakdown in the nuclear family. The high divorce rates have meant
many
children have
been brought
up in one-parent families with no father to act as a role model which is detrimental to their development. This is
particularly
important
for boys, who without this guidance are
easily
led astray by
bad
influences such as drugs and
crime
. Another factor is the lack of things to do for the young.
For example
, in the UK,
many
television programs about this issue have shown that
teenagers
hang around in the evenings with
little
to do. When this happens, the boredom means they will find their
own
entertainment, which is
often
a crime.

There are,
however
, ways to tackle these problems.
Firstly
, the
government
should provide more support for families. They could,
for instance
, invest more into building and staffing youth
Centre
’s which would provide guidance through the youth workers and
also
enable
teenagers
to focus their attention on sport and other activities. Parents should
also
be encouraged
to take more responsibility for their children.
Ultimately
, the onus is on them to ensure their children
are brought
up in a loving environment which would
make
them less likely to turn to
crime
. They could,
for example
, find a male relative to act as a role model.

Therefore
, it is
clear
that there are various reasons for this rise in
crime
,
but
solutions are available. If we
begin
to tackle the issue
now
, we may be able to
prevent
the situation declining
further
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices to this statement v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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