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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.38

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. with this statement? v. 38
It is believed by some people in this modern world that, people have variety of options. I certainly agree with this belief that nowadays people have abundant choices compared to earlier days. In the olden days, referring to situations 2 decades back, there was not much advancements in almost all the fields. Currently, the whole world has drastically changed with the invention of technologies and there is constantly a space for improvisation. For instance, let us consider mobile phones transition, when the mobile phone was unveiled in the market, it was huge and there was only one model, whereas now, mobile phones are compact and people are perplexed with choices. With the prevailing market conditions, products/ services industries have provided people with unlimited choices One prominent reason I would like to mention is, the variety of choices people have today are due to enormous competition between the companies. If the product is restricted to single entity, people would have had no choice other than to pay for whatever the price is fixed. For instance, the internet is provided by 2 major telecoms in Saudi, for outside world it is 2 different companies, but both belongs to same parent company and they dictate the terms with respect to usage of video calls in the country. If there were other participants in telecom industry, the people have left with other options to make video calls legally. However, development of application by various companies have paved way for the people to make video calls through VoIP services. To conclude, in the present world, people cannot be limited with the choices due to emergence of creativity and rival wars, which indeed provide' s countless options to everyone.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have variety of options. I
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this belief that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
compared to earlier days.

In the olden days, referring to situations 2 decades back, there was not
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
advancements in almost all the fields.
Currently
, the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with the invention of technologies and there is
constantly
a space for improvisation.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us consider mobile phones transition, when the mobile phone
was unveiled
in the market, it was huge and there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one model, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, mobile phones are compact and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are perplexed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. With the prevailing market conditions, products/ services industries have provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with unlimited
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
choices


One prominent reason I would like to mention is, the variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are due to enormous competition between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. If the product
is restricted
to single entity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have had no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
other than to pay for whatever the price is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
.
For instance
, the internet
is provided
by 2 major telecoms in Saudi, for outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
it is 2
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
both belongs to same parent
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
company and
they dictate the terms with respect to usage of video calls in the country. If there were other participants in telecom industry, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with other options to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
video calls
legally
.
However
, development of application by various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have paved way for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
video calls through VoIP services.

To conclude
, in the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
be limited
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
due to emergence of creativity and rival wars, which
indeed
Possible spelling mistake found.
provide&
#039; s countless options to everyone.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. with this statement? v. 38

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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