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Some People believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To What extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v. 110 v.36

Some People believe that nowadays we have too many choices. with this statement? v. 110 v. 36
The growing advancement has certainly affected person’s living style momentarily as compared to the past. This has led to a divided opinion, whereas some perceive that in the recent times, the people demand is swelling compared to the past which, severs the convenience and happiness. I strongly support this view and further arguments are given in below paragraphs. To begin with, the prime reason for the innumerable alternatives is an availability of ample resources as well as practical skills in the recent time which was not available in the past. The advancement of the science will provide a various instrument which gives them an enlightenment about different new topics. Even this will also help us to learn about the usage of new appliances. As a result, a person can save their time and utilize money, which provides them a satisfying and complete their task in their comfort zone. For example, these days, many people are using online shopping this option provides services and a person can buy things by living in their preferable place. Thus, the people are enjoying the status of privileged customer. Furthermore, momentarily, a person is becoming more aware about the education and able to acquire the job which provides them a large amount of intensive. This will be a key parameter to change an individual’s requirements. With the availability of funds, technology and knowledge makes the people to change their attitude towards life. For instance, in the past, people were using a postcard for the communication purpose; compare to that in this digital era, the communication is possible using mobile in the form of audio, video call and in the text form. This revolutionary development in the modern society has improved the standard of living of a layman. In conclusion, in the today’s era, the people are becoming materialized due to the availability of electronic instruments, academic education and money. This would become beneficial for the individual by giving comfort, happiness and save their time.
The growing advancement has
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
living style
momentarily
as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. This has led to a divided opinion, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
perceive that in the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
demand is swelling compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
which, severs the convenience and happiness. I
strongly
support this view and
further
arguments are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in below paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the prime reason for the innumerable alternatives is an availability of ample resources
as well
as practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which was not available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. The advancement of the science will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
a various instrument which gives them an enlightenment about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
new topics. Even this will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to learn about the usage of new appliances.
As a result
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and utilize money, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
them a satisfying and complete their task in their comfort zone.
For example
, these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using online shopping this option
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
services and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things by living in their preferable place.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are enjoying the status of privileged customer.

Furthermore
,
momentarily
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is becoming more aware about the education and able to acquire the job which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
them a large amount of intensive. This will be a key parameter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
an individual’s requirements. With the availability of funds, technology and knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their attitude towards life.
For instance
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were using a postcard for the communication purpose; compare to that in this digital era, the communication is possible using mobile in the form of audio, video call and in the text form. This revolutionary development in the modern society has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the standard of living of a layman.

In conclusion
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming materialized due to the availability of electronic instruments, academic education and money. This would become beneficial for the individual by giving comfort, happiness and save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some People believe that nowadays we have too many choices. with this statement? v. 110 v. 36

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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