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Some people believe that nowadays we have to many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Some people believe that nowadays we have to many choices. with this statement? v. 2
Nowadays we have to make a lot of decisions every day. While many argue that we have a plethora of choices these days. I completely agree with this statement. Firstly, too many options leads to miscalculations. In other words, we humans are incapable of fathoming the full consequences of our decisions. We rely mostly on emotions, and more choices increases the chances of mistakes. For instance, when we apply for universities, we have hundreds of options. Selecting a few is very difficult, and it takes around a month to fully research everyone. This wasted crucial time could have been utilised elsewhere, and in the end, we are still not sure about our choice. If there was just one college for a specific field, the choice would have been so simple. This would have removed any human error. Secondly, selecting from more options gets really frustrating and time consuming. This is because some of the options are so similar. For example, think about shopping, each item has a thousand different options, and choosing one is a nightmare. Even the simple white shirt has so many brands. Furthermore, this whole process of choosing from a myriad of possibilities is overwhelming for some people. It often leads to frustration, As a result, people start hating shopping, but the real culprit is the choices. To conclude, having too many choices is the reason for individuals getting frustrated, and we still end up miscalculating. In contrast, having a handful of options is much better, it saves time and reduces the risk of mistakes.
Nowadays we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
decisions every day.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that we have a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
these days. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

Firstly
, too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
leads to miscalculations.
In other words
, we humans are incapable of fathoming the full consequences of our decisions. We rely
mostly
on emotions, and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
increases the chances of mistakes.
For instance
, when we apply for universities, we have hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
. Selecting a few is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult, and it takes around a month to
fully
research everyone. This wasted crucial time could have been
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
elsewhere, and in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, we are
still
not sure about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
. If there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one college for a specific field, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
would have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
simple. This would have removed any human error.

Secondly
, selecting from more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
really
frustrating and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
similar.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about shopping, each item has a thousand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
, and choosing one is a nightmare. Even the simple white shirt has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
brands.
Furthermore
, this whole process of choosing from a myriad of possibilities is overwhelming for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to frustration,
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
hating shopping,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the real culprit is the choices.

To conclude
, having too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
is the reason for individuals getting frustrated, and we
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up miscalculating.
In contrast
, having a handful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
is much better, it saves time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of mistakes.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have to many choices. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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