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Some people believe that nowadays we have many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Some people believe that nowadays we have many choices. with this statement? v. 1
In this new era of civilization, there is an increase in the number of nations that now open their entrance to many tourists as international travel has become cheaper. In my opinion, despite the benefits of job opportunities as well as an increase in the economic growth from the rise in the number of tourists, the drawbacks of this are greater than them. Admittedly, having growing tourism has some advantages. Firstly, opportunities in employment occur when nations doors are opened to visitors due to the rise in the need for human labour to meet up with the demands of efficiently running the tourist centres. This will result in a rapid and an eventual boost of the standard of living of the citizens. Moreover, there would also be a drastic growth in the economy of such a country. This is because huge resources received from the payment of taxes and other means of generating funds would raise enough revenue for the government. Nevertheless, there are several demerits of growing tourism that are detrimental, both to the environment and people living there. To begin with, an increase in pollution which occurs from the frequent use of cars to commute tourists in and out of the country is the main problem of this growth. In other words, there is an emission of carbon dioxide from the automobiles, thereby leading to the rising sea level. This could lead to serious disasters, especially flood which could lead to loss of properties and death of many innocent lives. Another drawback is the loss of morals, which is common amongst the citizens owing to the wrongful exposure to visitors, who are tourists. As a result, the ethics of such a nation would be lost. In conclusion, although there are many merits of opening countries doors to improve tourism, the demerits of the threat of global warming from air pollution and loss of morals cannot be overlooked as these could be dangerous to both the population and the nation safety.
In this new era of civilization, there is an increase in the number of
nations
that
now
open their entrance to
many
tourists
as international travel has become cheaper. In my opinion, despite the benefits of job opportunities
as well
as an increase in the economic growth from the rise in the number of
tourists
, the drawbacks of this are greater than
them
.

Admittedly
, having growing tourism has
some
advantages.
Firstly
, opportunities in employment occur when
nations
doors
are opened
to visitors due to the rise in the need for human
labour
to
meet
up with the demands of
efficiently
running the
tourist
centres
. This will result in a rapid and an eventual boost of the standard of living of the citizens.
Moreover
, there would
also
be a drastic growth in the economy of such a country. This is
because
huge resources received from the payment of taxes and other means of generating funds would raise
enough
revenue for the
government
.

Nevertheless
, there are several demerits of growing tourism that are detrimental, both to the environment and
people
living there. To
begin
with, an increase in pollution which occurs from the frequent
use
of cars to commute
tourists
in and out of the country is the main problem of this growth.
In other words
, there is an emission of carbon dioxide from the automobiles, thereby leading to the rising sea level. This could lead to serious disasters,
especially
flood which could lead to loss of properties and death of
many
innocent
lives
. Another drawback is the loss of morals, which is common amongst the citizens owing to the wrongful exposure to visitors, who are
tourists
.
As a result
, the ethics of such a
nation
would
be lost
.

In conclusion
, although there are
many
merits of opening countries doors to
improve
tourism, the demerits of the threat of global warming from air pollution and loss of morals cannot
be overlooked
as these could be
dangerous
to both the population and the
nation
safety.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have many choices. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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