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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matter(such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. v.2

In Modern era, adults have rights to take decisions from their own about everything. It depends on children's behaviour and nature, that he is able or not to take right decisions. Some people think that it is important to allow children to choose things from their own in their daily life like food clothing and entertainment, which influence them. While, others believe that it leads to a world of individuals, who only pay attention to their needs. I believe, it varies from person to person. To begin with, if children take decisions from their own knowledge about their daily routine things, they will be able to take right decisions in their future. It does not mean that they do everything as they wish and do not involve their parents in it. For example, many children, when they got jobs and earn from their own, do not share anything to their parents about where they are spending their money. It leads to a society of individual, who only think about their own profit and also their parents feel disrespect and loneliness, which is not good for the health of society. However, children should not depend more on their parents for everything, what they want in their life. For instance, my parents are not well educated and they do not know about which subject they can suggest to me for my further studies. So, i took decision from my own knowledge and chosen non-medical stream for studies. I got an excellent result in my senior secondary examination and satisfied from my decision. Therefore, it is necessary for children to make choices from their own, which we can become helpful in their future. To conclude, understanding level of a children is unique from others. I believe children should be able to think about themselves and do not depend on others, but they should involve their parents in some decisions.
In Modern era, adults have rights to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
about everything. It depends on children's
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
and nature, that he is able or not to take right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to choose things from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
in their daily life like food clothing and entertainment, which influence them. While, others believe that it leads to a world of individuals, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pay attention to their needs. I believe, it varies from person to person.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
knowledge about their daily routine things, they will be able to take right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
in their future. It does not mean that they do everything as they wish and do not involve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in it.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
jobs and earn from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, do not share anything to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about where they are spending their money. It leads to a society of individual, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
profit and
also
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel disrespect and loneliness, which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the health of society.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not depend more on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for everything, what they want in their life.
For instance
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well educated
and they do not know about which subject they can suggest to me for my
further
studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
knowledge and chosen non-medical stream for studies. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an excellent result in my senior secondary examination and satisfied from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
Therefore
, it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
choices from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, which we can become helpful in their future.

To conclude
, understanding level of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is unique from others. I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about themselves and do not depend on others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should involve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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