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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affects them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.8

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affects them. v. 8
Children are the reflection of their own parents. It depends on their upbringing, what they will become in their future. For instance, some guardians think that, if they will allow their kids to take their own decisions, regarding their meals, their dresses, then, they will become independent. However, some individuals will think, it will make them selfish. So, let's discuss both the sides. Firstly, according to some parents, if we allow our sons and daughters to decide, what they want to eat in their meals? , what they want to wear to a party? , what they want to watch on television? , which movie they want to watch? , etc. , this will make them self centred, and they will only think about themselves. Somehow, if little ones start taking, their own decisions, in every aspect of their life, it makes them selfish. Secondly, there are few human beings, who believe that, if a minor will take their own decisions in life, it will make them a better Homosapien. Furthermore, few groups of people think that, you learn with your own experience, and it helps you in becoming a better soul. Lastly, according to me, I would say that, to make your, bundle of joy, you have to very responsible. Consequently, you will be surprised, by the values and ethics of your kid. So, make your juvenile self reliable, but, simultaneously, teach him/her your principles. Therefore, if you make them learn both the things together, it will make them a better person, in a whole. A good individual always knows, how to take a good decision.
Children are the reflection of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
parents. It depends on their upbringing, what they will become in their future.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
guardians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that, if they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their kids to take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
, regarding their meals, their dresses, then, they will become independent.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them selfish.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's discuss both the sides.

Firstly
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
our sons and daughters to decide, what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to eat in their meals?
Loose punctuation mark.
,
what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to wear to a party?
Loose punctuation mark.
,
what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on television?
Loose punctuation mark.
,
which movie they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
?
Loose punctuation mark.
,
etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self centred
, and they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about themselves. Somehow, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
, in every aspect of their life, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them selfish.

Secondly
, there are few human beings, who believe that, if a minor will take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
in life, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them a better
Possible spelling mistake found.
Homosapien
.
Furthermore
, few groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that, you learn with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you in becoming a better soul.

Lastly
, according to me, I would say that, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your, bundle of joy, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
responsible.
Consequently
, you will
be surprised
, by the values and ethics of your kid.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your juvenile self reliable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
simultaneously
, teach him/her your principles.
Therefore
, if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them learn both the things together, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them a better person, in a whole. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
individual always knows, how to take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affects them. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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