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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.16

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. v. 16
It is no doubt that these days, allowing children to make their decisions is becoming increasingly popular in recent times. However, the question: Can we allow children to make their own choices on matters of every day or not? Is considered one of the most serious issues today. In this essay, we are going to discuss this phenomenon from both viewpoints and causes. In addition, we will see that why I partly agree with this trend. The first argument suggests that the disadvantages far outweigh the benefits. The main reason for believing this is that encouraging children to choose everything, such as food, clothes and entertainment, by them self makes them to be selfish. For example, they cannot feel or respect others. It is also possible to say that this idea may force support them to take wrong decisions because they are so young to understand correctly. On the other hand, the second argument is considered an opposing case. It is commonly thought of the fact that it is important to make their choices alone which affects them positively. People often have this opinion because it will improve their soft skills, such as taking fast decisions and being prefect leaders, for a future career. A second point here is that it makes them be confident. A particularly good example, if they are used to take correct choices, they will solve critical cases such as problems of finance. In conclusion, we saw that there are no easy answers to these questions. In my opinion, I tend that helping children to take suitable decisions is the key of successful life, but we should put limits to make a balance between both sides.
It is no doubt that these days, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
is becoming
increasingly
popular in recent times.
However
, the question: Can we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices on matters of every day or not?
Is considered
one of the most serious issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In this essay, we are going to discuss this phenomenon from both viewpoints and causes.
In addition
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that why I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this trend.

The
first
argument suggests that the disadvantages far outweigh the benefits. The main reason for believing this is that encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to choose everything, such as food, clothes and entertainment, by them self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them to be selfish.
For example
, they cannot feel or respect others. It is
also
possible to say that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
may force support them to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
young to understand
correctly
.

On the other hand
, the second argument
is considered
an opposing case. It is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of the fact that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their choices alone which affects them
positively
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
and being prefect leaders, for a future career. A second point here is that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them be confident. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example, if they are
In the grammatical structure 'pronoun + be/get + used + to + verb', the verb 'used' is used with the gerund: "used to taking".
used to take
correct choices, they will solve critical cases such as problems of finance.

In conclusion
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that there are no easy answers to these questions. In my opinion, I tend that helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to take suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
is the key of successful life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should put limits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a balance between both sides.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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