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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment)is likely to result in a society of individuals who think about their own wishes. other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them Discuss both views and give your own opinion? v.13

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment)is likely to result in a society of individuals who think about their own wishes. other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them v. 13
Although it is thought that children should not be allowed to decide on everyday issues like food, clothes, other people argue that young people should be made to decide about matters affecting them. It is my opinion that allowing kids to choose for themselves helps to raise better children for the future. On the one hand, some people think that children who are free to make their own decisions become more independent thinkers and I agree. In other words, children learn to think for themselves, even in the absence of their parents. This will lead to producing young adults who can solve difficult problems on their own. For example, I have a six-year-old niece who has learnt to take care of the house when her parents are not available. Furthermore, children who learn to make decisions independently become better prepared later in life to choose future partners, unlike children who are prohibited from deciding for themselves. On the other hand, it is believed that children should never be allowed to decide what to eat, wear, or movies to watch as they have not reached a high level of reasoning to make such decisions. This is because children do not have the proper mental faculty to differentiate between what is right from wrong. That is to say that children could be easily influenced by their peers. For instance, it is reported by the Daily Times that 50% of crimes in the UK are mainly due to people who were left unsupervised during their childhood. In conclusion, while people may differ in their opinions, I think that children should be given a chance to decide for themselves on what matters to them so as to bring out a more prepared children for the future.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
on everyday issues like food, clothes, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be made
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
about matters affecting them. It is my opinion that allowing kids to choose for themselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to raise better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for the future.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions become more independent thinkers and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
for themselves, even in the absence of their parents. This will lead to producing young adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can solve difficult problems on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For example
, I have a six-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
niece
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
to take care of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
when her parents are not available.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions
independently
become better prepared later in life to choose future partners, unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are prohibited
from deciding for themselves.

On the other hand
, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should never be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
what to eat, wear, or movies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
as they have not reached a high level of reasoning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
such decisions. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not have the proper mental faculty to differentiate between what is right from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
That is
to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could be
easily
influenced by their peers.
For instance
, it
is reported
by the Daily Times that 50% of crimes in the UK are
mainly
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unsupervised during their childhood.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may differ in their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
for themselves on what matters to them
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
bring out a more prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for the future.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment)is likely to result in a society of individuals who think about their own wishes. other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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