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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.11

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. v. 11
It has become a highly debatable topic whether to allow or not for the teenagers to make certain decisions like what to eat, wear and their lifestyle. Some people feel that it might result in selfish nature while others think that it is essential. I feel that young people should be given freedom along with clear guidance from the parents or guardians. This essay not only discuss how it benefits kids by taking their own choices but also it discuss that why it is important to giving freedom is more beneficial by giving proper instructions. On one hand, taking care about the children's lifestyle like food, cloths and mode of entertainment is essential for parents because it helps them to grow in the right way. This makes the foundation for every kids life that he will grow with positive and good thoughts. For example, if teenagers are not guided correct, they may tend to consume unhealthy food and go into false directions and this may result in severe adverse conditions. Moreover, perfect upbringing may give adolescents to earn much respect in their future. On the other hand, forcing them to follow the particular lifestyle also leaves negative impact and can get feel stressed. Imposing rules on the children from their parents make cause mental illness and can make them incompetent to make any crucial decisions further. For instance, a recent survey conducted by the world health organization said that by obeying the words of elders for the personal matters will make them incapable of making crucial choices when they grow older. In addition, some kids might turn as rebels in such environment. To conclude, permitting the young people to make choices regarding their personal interest without any limit may end up going in a wrong path, furthermore being strict also makes them incapable in future prospects. Allowing them to choose what they want and lead them in correct way keep healthy, happy and inculcate good happiness.
It has become a
highly
debatable topic whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
or not for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
certain decisions like what to eat, wear and their lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that it might result in selfish nature while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is essential. I feel that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
freedom along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
guidance from the parents or guardians. This essay not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
discuss how it benefits kids by taking their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
Did you mean "discusses"?
discuss
that why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
Did you mean "give"?
giving
freedom is more beneficial by giving proper instructions.

On one hand, taking care about the children's lifestyle like food, cloths and mode of entertainment is essential for parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to grow in the right way. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the foundation for every
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "kids'" or "kid's"?
kids
life that he will grow with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thoughts.
For example
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are not guided correct, they may tend to consume unhealthy food and go into false directions and this may result in severe adverse conditions.
Moreover
, perfect upbringing may give adolescents to earn much respect in their future.

On the other hand
, forcing them to follow the particular lifestyle
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
. Imposing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on the children from their parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
cause mental illness and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them incompetent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
any crucial decisions
further
.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world health organization
said that by obeying the words of elders for the personal matters will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them incapable of making crucial choices when they grow older.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kids might turn as rebels in such environment.

To conclude
, permitting the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
choices regarding their personal interest without any limit may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up going in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path,
furthermore
being strict
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them incapable in future prospects. Allowing them to choose what they want and lead them in correct way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
healthy, happy and inculcate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
happiness.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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