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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes, entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes, entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. v. 5
There is no doubt that younglings should be allowed to make their own choices in any field of the life, while, some part of the society thinks that this may lead to their development as self centred people only. However, I believe, freedom along with some parental guidance is mandatory at this age, so that a kid grows up as a responsible person. This essay will explore both the sides of the notion. To begin with, the most part of a community is against this, because cherubs are immature in their early ages they do not know their goods or bads. For example, youngsters prefer to have filthy snacks despite eating some healthy veggies, which may lead to plumpness and many more associated diseases in the future. Hence, paternal guidance is important in the choice of their eating habits. Moreover, they say kids barely have any knowledge of colour combinations, so how can they decide which apparels to wear. Additionally, this lack of awareness and in search of exploring new things they might end up watching some adult shows, which may have a strong impact on their personality development. On the other side, there are certain advantages of giving children, their space: Firstly, they do not depend upon others for their daily activities like making braids, choosing clothes, bathing. For instance, my niece, who has been taught once to do her daily deeds like folding the bed sheet, brushing her teeth, getting ready for school. Does all that on her own, which ultimately provide relief her parents. Secondly, they get matured early, as they start thinking logically about every aspect. They might tackle coming difficulties with great confidence in comparison to others. In conclusion, children in their blooming age have a large capacity to inculcate new things. I, ponder that they should be allowed to have a choice as this might raise them into a good person, provided parents always have an eye on them and rectify them on their faults.
There is no doubt that
Possible spelling mistake found.
younglings
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices in any field of the life, while,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that this may lead to their development as
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self centred
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
However
, I believe, freedom along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parental guidance is mandatory at this age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that a kid grows up as a responsible person. This essay will explore both the sides of the notion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the most part of a community is against this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
cherubs are immature in their early ages they do not know their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
Possible spelling mistake found.
or bads
.
For example
, youngsters prefer to have filthy snacks despite eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
healthy veggies, which may lead to plumpness and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more associated diseases in the future.
Hence
, paternal guidance is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the choice of their eating habits.
Moreover
, they say kids
barely
have any knowledge of
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
combinations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
how can they decide which apparels to wear.
Additionally
, this lack of awareness and in search of exploring new things they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, which may have a strong impact on their personality development.

On the other side, there are certain advantages of giving children, their space:
Firstly
, they do not depend upon others for their daily activities like making braids, choosing clothes, bathing.
For instance
, my niece, who has
been taught
once to do her daily deeds like folding the
This word is normally spelled as one.
bed sheet
, brushing her teeth, getting ready for school. Does all that on her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, which
ultimately
provide relief her parents.
Secondly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
matured early, as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking
logically
about every aspect. They might tackle coming difficulties with great confidence
in comparison
to others.

In conclusion
, children in their blooming age have a large capacity to inculcate new things. I, ponder that they should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to have a choice as this might raise them into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person, provided parents always have an eye on them and rectify them on their faults.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes, entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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