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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes, entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes, entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. v. 3
There exists a controversy that whether youngsters should be allowed to decide for themselves about daily things such as food, outfits and recreation. Some people assert that giving young people the right to perform such practice will make them become selfish later on. However, I am in all agreement with those who state that letting children the liberty to decide about things that influence them is of paramount importance. In the first place, a strong argument could be held responsible for the disapproval of a chid’s independence of decision making when it comes to day-to-day matters, which may lead to selfishness afterwards. If the young are given the opportunity to choose anything they like on a daily basis, they will probably pick the things that are most suitable for them. For example, a child is indulged by his parents so that he could watch whatever cartoon films he is interested in. This could be problematic if he always took it for granted and use the TV exclusively for himself. Hence, it is likely that he will develop a self-centred characteristic which deters him from sparing the desired items to others. In addition, behaviours at such young age largely constitute the personal traits of children later on in life, meaning that they could be egocentric due to this practice. On the other hand, I concur with the idea that youngsters should be encouraged to make their own decisions in life. The most striking reason is that this will probably equip them with independent thinking patterns which is one of the required aspects that adolescents need to acquire. By self-considering the pros and cons of an option, one’s brain will have to work on its own and, as a result, sharpening its logical thinking skills. Another worth mentioning merit is that children may be more mature when they decide what to do by themselves. In other words, youngsters will take the responsibility for their actions, no matter how detrimental they are, henceforth, becoming those people of their own word. In conclusion, I personally favour the statement that children are by no means bound to have others make decisions about their affairs. Letting the young generation to decide on their own would surprisingly be beneficial in term of self-development.
There exists a controversy that whether youngsters should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
for themselves about daily things such as food, outfits and recreation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the right to perform such practice will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them become selfish later on.
However
, I am in all agreement with those who state that letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the liberty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
about things that influence them is of paramount importance.

In the
first
place, a strong argument could
be held
responsible for the disapproval of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
chid
’s independence of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to day-to-day matters, which may lead to selfishness afterwards. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to choose anything they like on a daily basis, they will
probably
pick the things that are most suitable for them.
For example
, a child
is indulged
by his parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
whatever cartoon films he
is interested
in. This could be problematic if he always took it for granted and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the TV exclusively for himself.
Hence
, it is likely that he will develop a
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-centred
characteristic which deters him from sparing the desired items to others.
In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
at such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age
largely
constitute the personal traits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
later on in life, meaning that they could be egocentric due to this practice.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I concur with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that youngsters should
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions in life. The most striking reason is that this will
probably
equip them with independent thinking patterns which is one of the required aspects that adolescents need to acquire. By self-considering the pros and cons of an option, one’s brain will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and,
as a result
, sharpening its logical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Another worth mentioning merit is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may be more mature when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
what to do by themselves. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, youngsters will take the responsibility for their actions, no matter how detrimental they are, henceforth, becoming those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
word.

In conclusion
, I
personally
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are by no means bound to have others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions about their affairs. Letting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
would
surprisingly
be beneficial in term of self-development.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes, entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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