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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. 1
The details and knowledge of bringing up the children are very sensitive and have various factors involvement such as parents, culture and social. Althought allowing kids to make their own decision on every matters has a negative impact of selfish thought, I believe there are benefits that outweight the drawbacks which I will explain in this essay. Firstly, permitting children to make their own decision can encourage to stimulate their brain function which lead to have an ability of creativity and logic thinking. For example, they can choose a proper dress to attend a party. Secondly, it also allows kids to learn situations and think of consequents by themselves such as they know when they do not beware of a step, they will get hurt and a bruise or a wound on their affecting parts. Finally, it is important to let them solve a problem by themselves which can promote their though process and they will grow up effectively. On the other hand, I do appreciate some people think that children make their own wishes will lead to a character of selfish. Children are lack of ability to decision at first. They may think that they can do whatever that they want particularly when their parents spoil them too much. Therefore, in this case should be fixed by observe their behaviors and give them an appropiate advise. In conclusion, allowing kids to think has various merits especially their occasion to learn by themselves and stimulate their cognitions. However, it should be sometimes consider by adults, monitor their behavior and give them suitable opinions.
The
details
and knowledge of bringing up the
children
are
very
sensitive and have various factors involvement such as parents, culture and social.
Althought
allowing kids to
make
their
own
decision on every
matters
has a
negative
impact of selfish
thought
, I believe there are benefits that
outweight
the drawbacks which I will
explain
in this essay.

Firstly
, permitting
children
to
make
their
own
decision can encourage to stimulate their brain function which lead to have an ability of creativity and logic thinking.
For example
, they can choose a proper dress to attend a party.
Secondly
, it
also
allows
kids to learn situations and
think
of
consequents
by themselves such as they know when they do not beware of a step, they will
get
hurt and a bruise or a wound on their affecting parts.
Finally
, it is
important
to
let
them solve a problem by themselves which can promote their though
process and
they will grow up
effectively
.

On the other hand
, I do appreciate
some
people
think
that
children
make
their
own
wishes will lead to a character of selfish.
Children
are lack of ability to decision at
first
. They may
think
that they can do whatever that they want
particularly
when their parents spoil them too much.
Therefore
,
in this case
should be
fixed
by observe their behaviors and give them an
appropiate
advise.

In conclusion
, allowing kids to
think
has various merits
especially
their occasion to learn by themselves and stimulate their
cognitions
.
However
, it should be
sometimes
consider
by adults, monitor their behavior and give them suitable opinions.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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