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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. 1
Every person in the world wants to take a decision on their own and so does the children. Although a section of people argues that young’s should not be allowed to make decision own their own as it may lead to self-centric society, the other section of the people encourages adolescences to take decision on things that affect them. This essay will discuss why children should be allowed to make opinion on personal matters but with some restrictions. The society is composed of various age groups, preference of each group may be different. As all the fingers are not equal, the personal opinions, behaviours and preferences also vary. However, social decorum can be maintained if some basic rules are followed. For instance, older adults do not like loud music but juvenile love loud music. If we don't teach this manner to our young then this may lead to social disturbance. Hence, allowing every child to do as per his/her likeness every time will lead to adverse effect in the society. However, the minds of the young are very curious; they are eager to learn several things and experience on their own. If a child is given the upper hand to perform activity own his own, he may be able to learn more quickly. For example, in drawing class, when a young is given free access to paint whatever he/she wants, he/she can express his/her likeness on the particular form of drawing art, say animal art. If young one is bound to draw abstract art which is not his natural preference, his mind may be underdeveloped due to pressure. To conclude, although allowing children to perform as per their choices has a few merits, the supervision of children's doing is the most important to balance the social decorum.
Every person in the world wants to take a decision on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
does the children. Although a section of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young’s
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
as it may lead to self-centric society, the other section of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
encourages adolescences to take decision on things that affect them. This essay will discuss why children should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
opinion on personal matters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions.

The society
is composed
of various age groups, preference of each group may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. As all the fingers are not equal, the personal opinions,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and preferences
also
vary.
However
, social decorum can
be maintained
if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are followed
.
For instance
, older adults do not like loud music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
juvenile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
loud music. If we don't teach this manner to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
then this may lead to social disturbance.
Hence
, allowing every child to do as per his/her likeness every time will lead to adverse effect in the society.

However
, the minds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
curious; they are eager to learn several things and experience on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. If a child is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the upper hand to perform activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, he may be able to learn more
quickly
.
For example
, in drawing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
free access to paint whatever he/she wants, he/she can express his/her likeness on the particular form of drawing art, say animal art. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
one
is bound
to draw abstract art which is not his natural preference, his mind may
be underdeveloped
due to pressure.

To conclude
, although allowing children to perform as per their choices has a few merits, the supervision of children's doing is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to balance the social decorum.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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