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some people believe that allowing children to make choice on everyday matter (such as food, clothes and entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who are we think about their own wishes. other people believe that is it important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them discussed but these views and give your opinions v.1

some people believe that allowing children to make choice on everyday matter (such as food, clothes and entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who are we think about their own wishes. other people believe that is it important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them discussed but these views and give your opinions v. 1
In recent days, it has been an increasing concern that communites think if adults let children do whatever they want, they will become selfish. However, it is controversial that others belive it is one the main key to help teenagers have their own decision-making in the future. In this essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of both these views. On the one hand, it is undeniable that allowing the young to make their own choices brings numerous benefits. First, it is one of an essential factors help them more independent. For example, if parents allow their children to decide how to choose clothes, what to eat, they gradually form an their own lifestyle without family’s help. As a result, they can become more mature and carefully consider to make a right decision in the future. Second, from the ethical perspective, as long as not break the rule, doing what people want is the civil’s right. Those who can choose their favourite job might become a successful worker because they enjoy their life and they could determine their purpose. On the other hand, it is obvious that there are some drawbacks of this issue. One of the main disadvantages is that a juvenile tend to be a selfish person. Specifically, allowing the youth to get their making-decision without a limitation may make them have a thought ‘ I am a king’. They just do what they want and do not care people around them. As a result, young-age group seem to put themselves over others and feel envy when other friends have something better than them. Not to mention that, they are disrespected in a society. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages of this problem.
In recent days, it has been an increasing concern that
Possible spelling mistake found.
communites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
children do whatever they want, they will become selfish.
However
, it is controversial that others
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
it is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the main key to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision-making in the future. In this essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of both these views.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that allowing the young to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices brings numerous benefits.
First
, it is one of an essential factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them more independent.
For example
, if parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their children to decide how to choose clothes, what to eat, they
gradually
form an their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
lifestyle without family’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
As a result
, they can become more mature and
carefully
consider to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a right decision in the future. Second, from the ethical perspective, as long as not break the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
, doing what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want is the civil’s right. Those who can choose their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
job might become a successful worker
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they enjoy their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they could determine their purpose.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is obvious that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of this issue. One of the main disadvantages is that a juvenile tend to be a selfish person.
Specifically
, allowing the youth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their making-decision without a limitation may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
‘ I am a king’. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
do what they want and do not care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them.
As a result
, young-age group seem to put themselves over others and feel envy when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
friends have something better than them. Not to mention that, they
are disrespected
in a society.

In conclusion
, there are both advantages and disadvantages of this problem.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay some people believe that allowing children to make choice on everyday matter (such as food, clothes and entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who are we think about their own wishes. other people believe that is it important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them discussed but these views and give your opinions v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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