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Living in a country where you have to speak foreign language can cause serious social, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Living in a country where you have to speak foreign language can cause serious social, as well as practical problems. with this statement? v. 1
Every country has it's own language, this specification can be problomatic for the immigrants, in respect of socialization or employment opportunities. Although, it could be a bit challenging in the begining, but I think it is not a seriousproblem, any language can be learnt with the time. To begin with, there is no doubt that the language is the first barrier that an immigrant will face in the foreign land. Not being able to communicate in the local langauge will greatly limit one's ability to mingle with local residents, seeking medical help or even asking for directions, ultimately decreasing his chances of employement. But, the flexibility of human nature has equiped us to adopt to any situation quickly and easily. That means, when we are exposed to a language repeatedly, live among the common speakers of that tongue, our brain memorizes it faster and we learn it hastly. For instance, I failed to learn Chinese in a year at home but I was able to do so while I was in China in just couple of months. Secondly, wider acceptance of English as an international language has made it easier to travel, do business or work across the the globe very easy. As, the 70% of the world population has working level ability of speaking english, this is more than enough to pass the starting few months easily. Even in the countries like, Russia, Japan or China, where the people who speak English are very few but still you can find some to seek any help needed. Hence, I beleive it opens horizons for us when we look out in the globe rather than being stick to one place and single langauge. To conclude, even though the start of landing in the new country can be a bit uneasy, the knowledge of the multi languages greatly benefits the speaker in term of job or business. So we should not limit our world merely because of different languages spoken out htere.
Every country has
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, this specification can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
problomatic
for the immigrants, in respect of socialization or employment opportunities. Although, it could be a bit challenging in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
begining
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not a
Possible spelling mistake found.
seriousproblem
, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
with the time.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is the
first
barrier that an immigrant will face in the foreign land. Not being able to communicate in the local
Possible spelling mistake found.
langauge
will
greatly
limit one's ability to mingle with local residents, seeking medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
or even asking for directions,
ultimately
decreasing his chances of
Possible spelling mistake found.
employement
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the flexibility of human nature has
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "equipped", the past tense form of the verb 'equip'?
equiped
us to
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
any situation
quickly
and
easily
. That means, when we
are exposed
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
repeatedly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
among the common speakers of that tongue, our brain memorizes it
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
faster and
we learn it
Possible spelling mistake found.
hastly
.
For instance
, I failed to learn Chinese in a year at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was able to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
while I was in China in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
couple of months.

Secondly
, wider acceptance of English as an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
has made it easier to travel, do business or work across
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy. As, the 70% of the world population has working level ability of speaking
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
, this is more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to pass the starting few months
easily
. Even in the countries like, Russia, Japan or China, where the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who speak English are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
you can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to seek any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
needed.
Hence
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleive
it opens horizons for us when we look out in the globe
rather
than being stick to one place and single
Possible spelling mistake found.
langauge
.

To conclude
,
even though
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of landing in the new country can be a bit uneasy, the knowledge of the multi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
greatly
benefits the speaker in term of job or business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we should not limit our world
merely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
spoken out
Possible spelling mistake found.
htere
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Living in a country where you have to speak foreign language can cause serious social, as well as practical problems. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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