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Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.3

As well as practical problems, living in a foreign country where you must speak their own languages can lead a social gap between you and other people who live there. I completely agree with this opinion. This essay is going to focus on the reasons of this situation. Initially, language is the most important tool to communicate and live with other people together. Even if people can understand each others with speaking a foreign language, they are not able to explain their feelings opinions like their mother tongue. Idioms, sayings and other stories particularly based on the different language make harder to understand foreign people feelings emotions. Therefore, these people can not enjoy while socializing with others or also indigenous people cannot seen these people like a local one. As a result, important social problems occur between local and foreign people who live in the country. Looking at the samples, Turkish people who live in the Germany are the most suitable examples to show main problems. Germany invited Turkish people to their country for work force. These people suffered a lot pain from social subjects because they were not able to socialized with German people because of the difference of languages. Even they were taught how to speak German, the social gap between them has always happened in the cafe, park, even schools. This used to affect people happiness and effectiveness in the life. As a result, government established new residential zones in the Germany, and then these people were able to live much happier. To sum up, people living in a foreign country encounter some social problems, as well as practical problems. In my view, this is absolutely correct because the language is the most fundamental tool to be harmony with others
As well
as practical
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problems
, living in a
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foreign
country where you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
speak their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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languages
can lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
gap between you and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
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people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
there. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion. This essay is going to focus on the reasons of this situation.

Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tool to communicate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together. Even if
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people
can understand each others with speaking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, they are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
their feelings opinions like their mother tongue. Idioms, sayings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
stories
particularly
based on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
harder to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feelings emotions.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not enjoy while socializing with others or
also
indigenous
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people
cannot
The modal verb ‘cannot’ requires the verb’s base form.
seen
these
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people
like a local one.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
occur between local and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
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live
in the country.

Looking at the samples, Turkish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
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live
in the Germany are the most suitable examples to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
main
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problems
. Germany invited Turkish
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people
to their country for work force. These
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people
suffered
If you mean a great quantity, use “a lot of pain”.
a lot pain
from
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social
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were not able to socialized with German
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the difference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. Even they
were taught
how to speak German, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
gap between them has always happened in the
‘cafe’ is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using “café”
cafe
, park, even schools. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happiness and effectiveness in the life.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
established new residential zones in the Germany, and then these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
much happier.

To sum up,
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people
living in a
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foreign
country encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
as well
as practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. In my view, this is
absolutely
correct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is the most fundamental tool to be harmony with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
others
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Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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