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In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it a valuable work experience which is important for learning and taking responsibility What is your opinion v.2

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it a valuable work experience which is important for learning and taking responsibility What is your opinion v. 2
Many people think that, practice and specification are the crucial facts to be succeed in daily life, others support that, other features have more importance. In my view, having a strict routine to balance the life may bring better results due to being disciplined. This essay will compare both sides and demonstrate the main points. On the one hand, the minority of people feel that, the other factors are taking the lead while living. For instance, if a person has got the ability which being able to manage and organizing the life as a result of the work-life balanced daily routine, that person would not need to practice or hard word a lot. For the reason that, they also time to spend with their family and friends, but does it enough to be successful? It is of course depends on the personality and lifestyle. Clearly, it might be better to provide other features by yourself. Otherwise, it may cause hazardous consequences which are hard to tackle with it such as a failure in life. It may be better to take precautions. It would be a high price to pay for life management. On the other hand, the majority of people feel that, having a strict and determined routine while living may produce better conditions for the life. To illustrate this, many researches which are done by professionals are showing that, the number of the succeed person as a result of more practice and exercise is extremely higher than the others. Undoubtedly, as we all know that, the hard working may cause much better qualifications in our lives. For the reason that, the key features are of course related to the tough life program. In conclusion, the both views have pros and cons which are efficient in our lives. In my opinion, being disciplined and responsible to provide a useful program to reduce the side-effects of life such as depression and failure. It might be better to use that system in our lives to achieve tough achievements.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, practice and specification are the crucial facts to be
Consider using a past participle here: "succeeded".
succeed
in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, others support that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
features have more importance. In my view, having a strict routine to balance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
results due to
being disciplined
. This essay will compare both sides and demonstrate the main points.

On the one hand, the minority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors are taking the lead while living.
For instance
, if a person has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the ability which being able to manage and organizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as a result
of the work-life balanced daily routine, that person would not need to practice or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
word a lot. For the reason that, they
also
time to spend with their family and friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
does it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be successful? It is
of course
depends on the personality and lifestyle.
Clearly
, it might be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
features by yourself.
Otherwise
, it may cause hazardous consequences which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to tackle with it such as a failure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to take precautions. It would be a high price to pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
management.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that, having a strict and determined routine while living may produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
conditions for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To illustrate this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researches which
are done
by professionals are showing that, the number of
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'succeed' is correct. If 'succeed' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the succeed
person
as a result
of more practice and exercise is
extremely
higher than the others.
Undoubtedly
, as we all know that, the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
may cause much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
qualifications in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. For the reason that, the key features are
of course
related to the tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
program.

In conclusion
, the both views have pros and cons which are efficient in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In my opinion,
being disciplined
and responsible to provide a useful program to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
Did you mean "side effects" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-effects
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as depression and failure. It might be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that system in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to achieve tough achievements.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it a valuable work experience which is important for learning and taking responsibility What is your opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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