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In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. v.8

In modern Era, children prefers to do job along with their study. It is followed up in some places while others argue this as an unmindful practice. This essay will highlight the hindrance caused by paid work in children's psychology. Firstly if children remain busy with their job, responsibilities in their initial learning phase they might interact less with others. Secondly, they can be addicted to earn money and can consider education as useless. Not only this but also kids can be anti social. For instance, a 14 years old boy doing paid work in spite of joining school can results rise in illegal activities. Hence, proper education is crucial then involving in earning activities for children. On the other hand, involving children's in taking responsibility, performing job activities is against child right. Below 18 should be monitored properly by guardians so that they can distinguish between right and wrong deeds. Consequently, children's can be psychologically distracted as they perform job with their negative co-workers. For example, last year when I was doing my research I found a boy approximately 15 years smoking along with his colleagues in hotel I came to knew that he was habituated because of his friend. That's why, children's must be under supervision and sent to school. To encapsulate it, education plays a pivotal role in building leadership and developing communication skills among children. However, others argue that they can be more matured if responsibility is provided. They can support their family. To my point of perspective, education is the best way to shape out the outshine future of a nation's builder. So, government must be concerned towards it.
In modern Era, children prefers to do
job
along with their study. It
is followed
up in
some
places while others argue this as an unmindful practice. This essay will highlight the hindrance caused by paid work in
children's
psychology.

Firstly
if children remain busy with their
job
, responsibilities in their initial learning phase they might interact less with others.
Secondly
, they can
be addicted
to earn money and can consider
education
as useless. Not
only
this
but
also
kids can be
anti social
.
For instance
, a 14 years
old
boy doing paid work
in spite of
joining school can results rise in illegal activities.
Hence
, proper
education
is crucial then involving in earning activities for children.

On the
other
hand, involving
children's
in taking responsibility, performing
job
activities is against child right. Below 18 should
be monitored
properly
by guardians
so
that they can distinguish between right and
wrong
deeds.
Consequently
,
children's
can be
psychologically
distracted as they perform
job
with their
negative
co-workers.
For example
, last year when I was doing my research I found a boy approximately 15 years smoking along with his colleagues in hotel I came to knew that he
was habituated
because
of his friend. That's why,
children's
must
be under supervision and
sent
to school.

To encapsulate it,
education
plays a pivotal role in building leadership and developing communication
skills
among children.
However
, others argue that they can be more matured if responsibility
is provided
. They can support their family. To my point of perspective,
education
is the best way to shape out
the outshine
future of a nation's builder.
So
,
government
must
be concerned
towards it.
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The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. what are your opinion on this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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