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In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this? v.20

Adolescents in several nations are involved in some type of paid employment. Some individuals believe that this is absolutely incorrect, whereas, others opine that it provides relevant experience which is vital for learning and absorbing responsibilities. This essay will discuss both aspects and argue why it is wrong to engage children in paid labour. One the one hand, employment at a very young age can have several drawbacks. Firstly, there are chances of exploitation by supervisors as kids are very naive. For instance, they may be made to work for longer hours and low wages. Secondly, they may also be bullied by their co-workers causing psychological and emotional issues for them. Lastly, working children find it difficult to focus on their studies and eventually they drop out of school. Unfortunately, this hinders their overall growth and career. On the other hand, there are a few benefits to paid work. The foremost one is that they learn to value money at a young age and spend it wisely which in turn makes them financially secure adults. For children coming from very poor backgrounds, the paid employment could be an opportunity to support their family. However, children can only find manual labour. Since they lack formal educational qualifications, they cannot find a good job that secures their future. And if the job causes them to leave school, it will have disastrous consequences for their future. In conclusion, in my opinion the disadvantages surely outweigh the advantages of engaging children in paid work. Countries should have certain age limitations as to when they can work legally, so their childhood and innocence is not disturbed.
Adolescents in several nations
are involved
in
some
type of
paid
employment.
Some
individuals believe that this is
absolutely
incorrect, whereas, others opine that it provides relevant experience which is vital for learning and absorbing responsibilities. This essay will discuss both aspects and argue why it is
wrong
to engage
children
in
paid
labour
.

One
the one hand, employment at a
very
young age can have several drawbacks.
Firstly
, there are chances of exploitation by supervisors as kids are
very
naive.
For instance
, they may
be made
to
work
for longer hours and low wages.
Secondly
, they may
also
be bullied
by their co-workers causing psychological and emotional issues for them.
Lastly
, working
children
find it difficult to focus on their studies and
eventually
they drop out of school. Unfortunately, this hinders their
overall
growth and career.

On the other hand
, there are a few benefits to
paid
work
. The foremost one is that they learn to value money at a young age and spend it
wisely
which in turn
makes
them
financially
secure adults. For
children
coming from
very
poor backgrounds, the
paid
employment could be an opportunity to support their family.
However
,
children
can
only
find manual
labour
. Since they lack formal educational qualifications, they cannot find a
good
job that secures their future. And if the job causes them to
leave
school, it will have disastrous consequences for their future.

In conclusion
, in my opinion the disadvantages
surely
outweigh the advantages of engaging
children
in
paid
work
. Countries should have certain age limitations as to when they can
work
legally
,
so
their childhood and innocence is not disturbed.
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IELTS essay In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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