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In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion? v.2

In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion? v. 2
Advancement in the alternative energy technology has prompted many countries to adopt this new form of energy, irrespective of their economic status. While there are a few who believe this is detrimental, I beg to differ, as in my opinion alternative energy will help protect the environment while also ensuring sustainable energy. In this essay we will consider both aspects of the argument, before drawing an informed conclusion. On one hand there are people who doubt the benefits of green energy. The central reason behind this concern is twofold, firstly they argue that non-conventional energy is unreliable. The reason for that is the unpredictable nature of wind or sunlight, which happens to the major source of alternative energy. This could adversely affect the energy security of countries which lack these resources. Secondly, they argue about the large area required to set-up solar or wind energy farms. This can jeopardies energy security for small countries, as they would have to rely on imports to meet their energy requirements. For example, research conducted on the long-term feasibility of alternative energy has shown that small countries will have to import at least 40% of their electricity from large neighboring countries. On the other hand, although there are some concerns about green energy, its positive impact on the environment and its cost effectiveness cannot be overstated. This is largely because renewable energy like solar and wind has helped industries reduce their carbon footprint, as they do not have to burn conventional fuel like coal, which is a major source of carbon oxides. A recent study by an environmental protection group has found that adoption of green energy will help us achieve negative carbon footprint, in the process arrest the effects of global warming in 50 years. Also, the advancement in technology has increased the efficiency of alternative energy, which has resulted in reduced cost of production as larger amounts of energy can be produced from a small energy farm. It is believed that in a decade the cost of renewable energy will be far less than of conventional energy, prompting greater adoption. From the aforementioned arguments and examples, I firmly believe that the positive impact of green energy far outweighs its negatives. I am certain that alternative energy will fuel the economic growth of the modern world while ensuring protection of the environment.
Advancement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
technology has prompted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to adopt this new form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, irrespective of their economic status. While there are a few who believe this is detrimental, I beg to differ, as in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
protect the environment while
also
ensuring sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. In this essay we will consider both aspects of the argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing an informed conclusion.

On one hand there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who doubt the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. The central reason behind this concern is twofold,
firstly
they argue that non-conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is unreliable. The reason for
that is
the unpredictable nature of wind or sunlight, which happens to the major source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. This could
adversely
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
security of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which lack these resources.
Secondly
, they argue about the large area required
The verb 'set up' is spelled as two words. The noun 'setup' is spelled as one.
to set-up
solar or wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
farms. This can
Possible spelling mistake found.
jeopardies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
security for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, as they would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rely on imports to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
requirements.
For example
, research conducted on the long-term feasibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
has shown that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
import at least 40% of their electricity from large neighboring countries.

On the other hand
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concerns about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the environment and its
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cost effectiveness
cannot
be overstated
. This is
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
like solar and wind has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their carbon footprint, as they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
burn conventional fuel like coal, which is a major source of carbon oxides. A recent study by an environmental protection group has found that adoption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
carbon footprint, in the process arrest the effects of global warming in 50 years.
Also
, the advancement in technology has increased the efficiency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, which has resulted in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
cost of production as larger amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
can
be produced
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
farm. It
is believed
that in a decade the cost of renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
will be far less than of conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, prompting greater adoption.

From the aforementioned arguments and examples, I
firmly
believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
far outweighs its negatives. I am certain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
will fuel the economic growth of the modern world while ensuring protection of the environment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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