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Every year several languages die out Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion v.2

Every year several languages die out Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world with this opinion v. 2
In today’s modern world, a lot of individuals are tending to use various kinds of banking services like credit cards, saving accounts and loans for different personal purposes. Some people are of the opinion that government and banking authority should make it harder for individuals to borrow a large amount of money and I strongly agree with it. There are a number of plausible arguments in favour of this view. Firstly, many people borrow a large amount of loan without having a solid plan. This huge personal debt results in increasing their burden. For example, the statistics represent that 65% of the people are unable to repay their debt and most of them lies in the age range of under 30. Consequently, these individuals, depressed out and choose ending their lives by suicidal attempts. In addition to this, these days individuals are more materialistic. They lend money for useless things just to satisfy themselves. For instance, a survey of a renowned bank reveals that the majority of the people apply for the loan to spend money on unnecessary items. They use money to show off and brag about their status. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the authorities that they should inspect the purpose of the loan. Certain rules and regulations should be imposed to meet the minimum criteria of the debt. In conclusion, various people get into larger debts by taking extra debts. Therefore, banking authorities should tighten the rules in the procedure to avail money from the bank, to cope with the situation effectively.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are tending to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
various kinds of banking services like credit cards, saving accounts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personal purposes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and banking authority should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it harder for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to borrow a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it.

There are a number of plausible arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this view.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
borrow a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
without having a solid plan. This huge personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debt
results in increasing their burden.
For example
, the statistics represent that 65% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to repay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debt
and most of them lies in the age range of under 30.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, depressed out and choose
If 'choose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to end".
ending
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by suicidal attempts.

In addition
to this, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are more materialistic. They lend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for useless things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to satisfy themselves.
For instance
, a survey of a renowned bank reveals that the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
apply for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on unnecessary items. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off and brag about their status.

Therefore
, it is the responsibility of the authorities that they should inspect the purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
. Certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations should
be imposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the minimum criteria of the debt.

In conclusion
, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
by taking extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
.
Therefore
, banking authorities should tighten the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in the procedure to avail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from the bank, to cope with the situation
effectively
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Every year several languages die out Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world with this opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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