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Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. v.33

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. v. 33
In our modern society, the question whether fewer languages in the world are better and easier for our daily life has been widely discussed. A fair portion of people believes that it is important to keep as many languages as we can, while others hold the opposite point of view. As for me, I side with the former one. First, different languages present their own history and culture. For example, the Chinese language is similar to the one used in the old times. Although China has thousands of years of history, since the language has been exited all the time, it is not hard to understand our history and culture well. Once the Chinese language dies out, people who speak other languages, such as English and French, would not know what Chinese festivals holidays celebrate for, and what the meanings of all architectures in Forbidden City. In this case, languages are the crucial way to learn culture and history. Therefore, we should keep the diversity of languages in the world. Second, if only a few languages are used in our world, we would lose numerous precious of knowledge written in certain languages. For instance, if English, French, Spanish and Chinese become the only four languages using in the whole world, it is impossible for people to understand well about how to make Japanese tea, and how to cook Japanese and Korean food, such as sushi and kimchi. It might be convenient and easy for people to communicate in our daily life by using only a few languages. However, if it happens, we would only know less information written by a limited number of languages. In conclusion, we should try our best to keep as many languages as we can to prevent culture and knowledge lost.
In our modern society,
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question".
the question whether
fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in the world are better and easier for our daily life has been
widely
discussed. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believes that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
as we can, while others hold the opposite point of view. As for me, I side with the former one.

First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
present their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
For example
, the Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is similar to the one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
times. Although China has thousands of years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
has
been exited
all the time, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to understand our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
well. Once the Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
out,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who speak other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, such as English and French, would not know what Chinese festivals holidays celebrate for, and what the meanings of all architectures in Forbidden City.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are the crucial way to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Therefore
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in the world.

Second, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in our world, we would lose numerous precious of knowledge written in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
For instance
, if English, French, Spanish and Chinese become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
using in the whole world, it is impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to understand well about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Japanese tea, and how to cook Japanese and Korean food, such as sushi and kimchi. It might be convenient and easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate in our daily life by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
However
, if it happens, we would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
know less information written by a limited number of languages.

In conclusion
, we should try our best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
as we can to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and knowledge lost.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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