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Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.24

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. with this opinion? v. 24
After the second world war, the world was physically separated among various nations, because of phenomenon such as globalization in the 20th century, people started to migrate between the countries, consequently, it made the whole globe as one virtual nation. Since, communities left their homes in search of jobs and got settled in new countries and started to learn local dialects, whereas they are now forgetting their own mother tongue. Some critics assert that the primitive languages should not diminish from the society, while I completely agree that the number of languages used by the community should be reduced which will make life easier. Firstly, the tourism industry will be boosted when the count of language used is reduced, because it becomes easy for the tourists to learn these fewer languages and it will bolster them understand about the people of a country and explore even remote areas. In other words, once you are in a foreign country you tend to feel alone as you cannot converse with the local people, and sometimes it becomes hard to even secure basic items namely food, grocery for the survival. In Japan, for instance, as a tourist in you feel that locals do not like to talk to non-native, whereas you cannot converse here without the Japanese language which makes difficult for a tourists to understand what to buy in a supermarket. Moreover, since the sign boards also used local jargon, so for tourists, it becomes cumbersome process to explore their destinations properly. Secondly, for the development of world it will be of great help of students, as they can study in an advanced nation and secure a job even if the they are able to converse in the universal adopted language. For example, in South Korea even though if you are highly qualified, it is very arduous to secure a job without knowing the native language, as a result, good talent leaks to another country. Furthermore, some of the nations are deprived of young workforce, so if they can be more open to one common method of expression, this will enhance the migration numbers, hence will have a positive impact on their economy. To conclude, reduction in the number of languages will be beneficial to whole world's unity, as people with different culture start talking and understanding more of each other.
After the second world war, the world was
physically
separated among various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of phenomenon such as globalization in the 20th century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to migrate between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
consequently
, it made the whole globe as one virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. Since, communities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their homes in search of jobs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
settled in new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
dialects, whereas they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
forgetting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mother tongue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
critics assert that the primitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
should not diminish from the society, while I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the community should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life easier.

Firstly
, the tourism industry will
be boosted
when the count of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it becomes easy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to learn these fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and it will bolster them understand about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and explore even remote areas.
In other words
, once you are in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
you tend to feel alone as you cannot converse with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it becomes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to even secure basic items
namely
food, grocery for the survival. In Japan,
for instance
, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
in you feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
do not like to talk to non-native, whereas you cannot converse here without the Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
difficult for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to understand what to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
in a supermarket.
Moreover
, since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
boards
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
jargon,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, it becomes cumbersome process to explore their destinations
properly
.

Secondly
, for the development of world it will be of great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of students, as they can study in an advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and secure a job even if
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "they"?
the they
are able to converse in the universal adopted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
For example
, in South Korea
even though
if you are
highly
qualified, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
arduous to secure a job without knowing the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
,
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
talent leaks to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Furthermore
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are deprived
of young workforce,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if they can be more open to one common method of expression, this will enhance the migration numbers,
hence
will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their economy.

To conclude
, reduction in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
will be beneficial to whole world's unity, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
talking and understanding more of each other.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. with this opinion? v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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