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Every year several languages die out. Some people think that is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.18

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. with this opinion? v. 18
Although several languages are becoming extinct every year, the situation seems irrelevant to some people. For some, it will be less difficult if there are fewer language in the world. But, since we have lots of different cultures and thoughts, and these differences are described in different languages, it is important preserving all these languages. Firstly, our world is comprised of a variety of human races which live in different parts around the globe. Each races live in their own particular places and develop their distinctive civilizations. Then, those cultures derive into words, phrases and becoming languages. For example, the greeting posture both in Thailand and India are the similar, but it is called “Wai” in Thailand and “Namaste” in India. This gives us the picture of how people in different societies have their own impact on languages. Also, how the language represent the way of life, too. Secondly, thoughts such as “Feng Shui” in China or “Bushido” in Japan, are the products from the civilization that has nurtured the society for over centuries. For instance, “Feng Shui” is a phrase meaning “Good spirit” in Chinese, and it also impacts their homes and their way of living. One particular example is Hong Kong, despite being a former British colony, its preserved Chinese values which come from the language has made Hong Kong’s buildings very distinctive and made the city famous of its skyline. So, thoughts and beliefs are represented within the languages. Finally, since all those cultures, thought and beliefs which impact on lives in different areas around the world are all connected with the languages. Thus, it is crucial preserving those languages to keep our world vibrant.
Although several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are becoming extinct every year, the situation seems irrelevant to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, it will be less difficult if there are fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, since we have lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
, and these differences are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
preserving all these languages.

Firstly
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of" or "is composed of"?
is comprised of
a variety of human races which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parts around the globe.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
Each
races
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
particular places and develop their distinctive civilizations. Then, those cultures derive into words, phrases and becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
For example
, the greeting posture both in Thailand and India are the similar,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
is called
“
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wai
” in Thailand and “Namaste” in India. This gives us the picture of how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
societies have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Also
, how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
represent the way of life, too.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
such as “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Feng
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shui
” in China or “Bushido” in Japan, are the products from the civilization that has nurtured the society for over centuries.
For instance
, “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Feng
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shui
” is a phrase meaning “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
spirit” in Chinese, and it
also
impacts their homes and their way of living. One particular example is Hong Kong, despite being a former British colony, its preserved Chinese values which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
has made Hong Kong’s buildings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
distinctive and made the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
of its skyline.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
and beliefs
are represented
within the languages.

Finally
, since all those cultures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
and beliefs which impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
areas around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are all connected with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Thus
, it is crucial preserving those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
vibrant.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Every year several languages die out. Some people think that is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. with this opinion? v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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