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Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.14

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. with this opinion? v. 14
Language is part of one's country culture. It speaks a thousand words to explain how important this is. First and foremost, language plays an important role everywhere. For example, there can be 1 to 700 dialects in a particular country and every one of them explains the culture of that region. Secondly, even there are hundreds of languages, we have the international language which is English. We can bring it anywhere we go. Moreover, there are several billions of people who studies, English as the second mother-tongue in the world. In the same way, people have choices, whether to study a specific mother-tongue or not. It all depends on someone's perspective. Thirdly, when there are fewer dialect in the world, life wouldn't be easier. People will still experience challenges in lifeblood that people experienced before when there are still a lot of languages. Admittedly, we cannot depend that generation will be easy to the fact that there are fewer languages. Life will still be hard whether we change everything or not. Therefore, I conclude that a mother-tongue is a great piece of a person's history. It is irresponsible to take that piece of them to a belief that an era will be easier with lesser languages. Life will be meaningful on how you face from your problems and solve it, because you won't learn anything if you run away from it. To sum up, even I study the most hardest language in the world, even I can't speak or understand for a long period of time, I won't give up because this words has a history. It is perfectly wonderful.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Language
is part of one's country culture. It speaks a thousand words to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
this is.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role everywhere.
For example
, there can be 1 to 700 dialects in a particular country and every one of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the culture of that region.

Secondly
, even there are hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, we have the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
which is English. We can bring it anywhere we go.
Moreover
, there are several billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who studies, English as the second mother-tongue in the world.
In the same way
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have choices, whether to study a specific mother-tongue or not. It all depends on someone's perspective.

Thirdly
, when there are fewer dialect in the world, life wouldn't be easier.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
still
experience challenges in lifeblood that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
when there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Admittedly
, we cannot
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depend on".
depend
that generation will be easy to the fact that there are fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. Life will
still
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
whether we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
everything or not.

Therefore
, I conclude that a mother-tongue is a great piece of a person's history. It is irresponsible to take that piece of them to a belief that an era will be easier with lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. Life will be meaningful on how you face from your problems and solve it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you won't learn anything if you run away from it. To sum up, even I study the
Use only "hardest" (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
most hardest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the world, even I can't speak or understand for a long period of time, I won't give up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this words has a history. It is
perfectly
wonderful.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. with this opinion? v. 14

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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