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Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. with this opinion? v. 1
Languages play a significant role in our daily life. However, several languages die out in every year. Some people believed that this will not cause any effect on our daily life as fewer languages in the world is considered by them to be more easier. From my point of view, I am strongly disagree with this perspective because it might become some of the problems to our life. First and foremost, this may lead to a problem which some of the employment opportunities will decrease. Owing to this, some of the people will find it more difficult to secure a job. To illustrate, works such as interpreter and languages teachers would lose their job opportunity and cause any other serious problems such as cannot afford living expenses. On the other hand, some of the people support the opinion that with lesser languages in the world our life will be easier. The reason why those people believed in this perspective is that the relationship between country and country will become better because with the use of one mother language around the world, people can communicate with each other easily and fully understand what other people are trying to say. Nevertheless, another problem may cause by this is the culture of most country will disappear and economy of those country will become unstable. For instance, when only one mother language is using in the world, most of the people will become less interest in learning other languages or even want to know more about the culture of that country. Undoubtedly, this will definitely cause less people travel to some of the country and make the economy in those country become worse. In the conclusion, everyone in the world have the responsibility to protect our own languages. Language is one of the vital part in our daily life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Languages
play a significant role in our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out in every year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believed that this will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
any effect on our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is considered
by them to be
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
. From my point of view, I am
strongly
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with this perspective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to our life.

First
and foremost, this may lead to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
employment opportunities will decrease. Owing to this,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find it more difficult to secure a job. To illustrate, works such as interpreter and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
teachers would lose their job opportunity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as cannot afford living expenses.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support the opinion that with lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be easier. The reason why those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believed in this perspective is that the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of one mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
easily
and
fully
understand what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are trying to say.
Nevertheless
, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
by this is the culture of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will disappear and economy of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
unstable.
For instance
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is using in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
less interest in learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
or even want to know more about the culture of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Undoubtedly
, this will definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel to
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the economy in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
worse.

In the conclusion, everyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have the responsibility to protect our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Language
is one of the vital part in our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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