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26. 09. 2017 In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are you opinions on this? v.1

26. 09. 2017 In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are you opinions on this? v. 1
It has been argued by someone that guests from other states should pursue local ways of life and attitudes of those lands because it makes more acceptable and more cosmopolitan to local people. Other individuals think that the host land should receive cultural diversity due to developing their country. This essay will delve into both aspects of these statements with relevant templates using some pieces of knowledge. To commence, visitors should have to maintain other cultures, especially when they are travelling for treatment, study, and business. This kind of attitude makes the guests more cosmopolitan and more acceptable to most people. As a result, the community of the host state draws grateful attention to visitors. Visitor people have so many things to learn about new cultures. If visitors people want to get more benefits from present nations, they must follow their dress code, food habit, languages, rituals, and religions. It will be easier for building a relationship with visitors by maintaining their culture. For example, recent research has shown successfully that 85 percent of visitors people maintain a local culture for their development. On the other hand, owner countries should welcome cultural diversity with cordially due to their progress in their country. Host countries should have to show sympathy for the visitors by arranging different festivals. Host countries should not show their conservative attitudes to visitors. As a result, tourists people feel free to visit their country and host people earn huge money for their country. Host countries will able to find the real talents of other countries by cultural diversity which directly connected to the improvement of the country. For instance, many developed countries like the U. S. A, the U. K, Australia, and Canada have emphasized cultural diversity in their development. I recapitulate, cultural diversification is an important issue in the 21st century and played a significant role in our society. However, visitors people should have to show proper respect for local ways of life whey they are visiting.
It has
been argued
by someone that guests from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
states should pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ways of life and attitudes of those lands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
more acceptable and more cosmopolitan to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
land should receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
due to developing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This essay will delve into both aspects of these statements with relevant templates using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pieces of knowledge.

To commence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
especially
when they are travelling for treatment, study, and business. This kind of attitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the guests more cosmopolitan and more acceptable to most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
, the community of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
state draws grateful attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Visitor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to learn about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more benefits from present nations, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow their dress code, food habit, languages, rituals, and religions. It will be easier for building a relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
by maintaining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
For example
, recent research has shown
successfully
that 85 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
for their development.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, owner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should welcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
with
cordially
due to their progress in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
sympathy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
by arranging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
festivals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their conservative attitudes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
As a result
, tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel free to visit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn huge money for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will able to find the real talents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
which
directly
connected to the improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the U. S. A, the U. K, Australia, and Canada have emphasized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
in their development.

I recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
diversification is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue in the 21st century and played a significant role in our society.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
proper respect for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ways of life whey they are visiting.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay 26. 09. 2017 In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are you opinions on this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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