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Some people think that sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are tought to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Some people think that sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are tought to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

essaydiscussionCompetitionCooperation
Writing Structure
Some people think that the clear sense of competition is more useful for children rather than co-operation skills, but others not. Such skills have advantages in some aspects that i'm going to discuss. Firstly, advancing competitive skills in children, would be not only their advantage compared to other children, but also may be their skill issue in teamworking and comunicating with each other. It can also be good help to be independent among their mates and friends. Otherwise, competing with others, can also upgrade the productivity in their work, for example, they are working in any company, and somebody is better than him, but due to his competition skills, they can easily become the best everywhere. However, these actions in career may block or bother their teamwork ability, which can impact their reputation at work, in society and etc. Secondly, co-operation with people in groups, can improve comunicative skills, which can help to get a job easily. Also working in groups would increase the efficiency of work, but it doesn't mean that if you are working in group will not require competitive skills or in other words demand knowledge, and in first situation the aspects remainig the same, if you are good at competing with others, it doesn't mean that you will not improve your comunication abilities. Consequently, these both skills are related to each other. In conclusion, such abilities are are good in so many aspects, but if parents will teach their children how to connect these skills to each other, it would be more greater, than teaching only one of them.
Introduction
Unclassified Sentences

Unclassified Sentences

Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Concluding Sentence

Body Paragraph 2
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Concluding Sentence

Conclusion
Restatement of Thesis

Overall Band Score: 5.5
Task Achievement
5.5
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views, but the arguments are not fully developed or supported with specific examples. The conclusion is vague and does not clearly state the writer's opinion.
Lexical Resource
5
The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are also several spelling errors that detract from the overall quality of the writing.
Coherence & Cohesion
5.5
The essay presents a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the ideas are not always logically sequenced, and there are instances of unclear connections between sentences.
Grammatical Range
5
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and punctuation issues. The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited use of complex sentences.

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