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Mental health problems are having a great impact on people. Why is this? What solutions can you suggest?

Mental health problems are having a great impact on people. Why is this? What solutions can you suggest?

essay2 Part QuestionsMental HealthMental Health Solutions
Writing Structure
Nowadays many citizens are experiencing emotional and psychiatric issues, this reality has affected them negatively. This essay will provide reasons and suggest solutions by giving examples from the faculty of psychology of the Oxford University and the UK Government to demonstrate points and prove arguments. It is well known that, mental health is becoming an international target for many governments, as the number of patients with emotional and behavioral problems is increasing rapidly. Recent empirical research by the UK government showed that 60% of its citizens have been diagnosed with a type of mental condition such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder, to name just a few. The central reason behind this is, perhaps, the lack of knowledge, among people, about the role of professionals in the psychology field. Many believe that these experts can help people only when traumatic life events occurred, thus, people refuse to seek guidance when stress levels rise or when they have sleeping issues, which are the early symptoms behind a mental condition that can be prevented such as anxiety. Therefore, it is conclusively clear that individuals play a significant role in the increase of mental health problems and its impact on them. Despite the reason behind this unfortunate situation, possible solutions can be suggested to tackle this worldwide struggle. On the one hand, schools should act as a proactive participant in the prevention of mental health problems by teaching their students about this topic, thus, learners can perceive emotional, mental, and behavioral aspects as important as physical health. An extensive study by the psychology faculty of Oxford University showed that 90% of the students stated to not have attended to a class related to mental health at school. On the other hand, governments should guarantee easier and faster access to professionals such as therapist, psychologist, and psychiatrist, so that, people will not need to wait months for an appointment with these experts. Thus, it is possible to state beyond doubt that several action plans can be done to solve this problem. In conclusion, from the arguments and examples given, I firmly believe that, mental health has been impacting people, mainly due to the lack of knowledge and the limited participation of governments in this field. However, it is possible to find solutions that involve different institutions such as schools.
Introduction
Unclassified Sentences

Thesis Statement

Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Body Paragraph 2
Transition Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Conclusion
Restatement of Thesis

Final Thought

Overall Band Score: 6.5
Task Achievement
6.5
The essay addresses the task by discussing the reasons for mental health issues and suggesting solutions. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, and some points lack sufficient evidence.
Lexical Resource
6
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and a lack of variety in word choice. Some phrases could be more precise.
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5
The essay presents a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, some ideas could be better connected, and transitions between points could be smoother.
Grammatical Range
6
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors in punctuation and sentence complexity that affect clarity.

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