Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear opinion. However, the arguments could be developed further with more detailed examples and evidence.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and repetition. Some word choices could be more precise.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents a clear argument and follows a logical structure. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the conclusion could better summarize the main points.
Grammatical Range
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are errors in sentence construction and punctuation that affect clarity.