Task Achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, but some arguments could be developed further with more examples and evidence.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and some awkward phrasing. The range of vocabulary could be expanded.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some ideas could be better linked, and transitions between points could be smoother.
Grammatical Range
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are errors in sentence construction and punctuation that affect clarity.