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Some people think that success in life come form hard work and determination, while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance.

Some people think that success in life come form hard work and determination, while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance.

essaydiscussionSuccessHard WorkFactors of Success
Writing Structure
In current times, success is a multifaceted concept, with people expressing various insights about it. While some firmly believe that finance and physical attractiveness are vital factors for success, I side with those arguing for the importance of relentless work and unwavering determination in reaching one's ambition. Examining one facet, people should recognize that the fact that hard work and determination can lead to success. There is no denying that consistent effort and perseverance play a pivotal role in achievement. It is obvious that success is by all means attainable to anyone willing to effort. For example, many historical figures obtained their achievements by sheer grit and dedication. Furthermore, one further justification, which should not be ignored here is that the satisfaction derived from overcoming challenges and achieving goals through one's own efforts is considered an essential component of true success in this view. On the other hand, there are some supporting the statement that wealth and physical attractiveness are a part of success. It is important to remember that success includes not only internal factors but also external factors such as money and appearance. In other words, wealth can open doors to education, improve health, while appearance brings more opportunities in social interaction or career. A good case in point would be that candidates will more easily attract employers when they apply for a job. In conclusion, success is a subjective term. While some people argue that external factors have a lot of contribution to success, I am quite in favor of the idea that internal factors are the best component. However, each of us should consider carefully before reaching the final decision on this issue.
Introduction
Background Information

Thesis Statement

Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Body Paragraph 2
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Conclusion
Restatement of Thesis

Final Thought

Overall Band Score: 6.5
Task Achievement
7
The essay addresses both parts of the task and presents a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, and some points lack sufficient support.
Lexical Resource
6
The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks variety and sophistication. There are instances of repetition and some awkward phrasing.
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5
The essay presents a clear argument and discusses both views, but the flow between ideas could be improved. Some sentences are slightly repetitive, and transitions between points could be smoother.
Grammatical Range
6.5
The grammatical structures used are generally correct, but there are some errors in sentence construction and punctuation. The complexity of sentences could be improved.

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