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The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v.9

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v. 9
The recent popularity of internet usage has caused significant changes in the way people consume and share information. There have been some problems associated with this like online theft and scams. However, the private and public sectors can work together to minimize the negative effects and allow us to enjoy the advantages of the internet. One of the first problems associated with internet usage comes from the fact that using the internet opens a door to the whole world. Some nefarious individuals can exploit this by masquerading as officials of a company or government to trick you into giving out private information like a bank account number, passport photo, or passwords to your account. These criminals can use this information to steal your money or blackmail your friends and family. Due to the severity of these crimes, it is important that the appropriate steps are taken to ensure that people have some protection when using the internet. Private sector companies could give warnings to all their customers that employees of their company will never ask for an account password. This alone would prevent many of these scams. Government around the world could be more active by creating a global online police force that tracks down the individuals perpetrating these crimes and putting them in jail. This would not only remove dangerous criminals from society but would discourage others from perpetrating crimes online. In summary, the internet is an amazing technological innovation that has transformed people's lives, but not without some negative impacts. However, it is my belief that if the right measures are taken by both businesses and governments, the internet can be made into a safe place for everyone.
The recent popularity of internet usage has caused significant
changes
in the way
people
consume and share information. There have been
some
problems associated with this like online theft and scams.
However
, the private and public sectors can work together to minimize the
negative
effects and
allow
us to enjoy the advantages of the internet.

One of the
first
problems associated with internet usage
comes
from the fact that using the internet opens a door to the whole world.
Some
nefarious individuals can exploit this by masquerading as officials of a
company
or
government
to trick you into giving out private information like a bank account number, passport photo, or passwords to your account. These criminals can
use
this information to steal your money or blackmail your friends and family.

Due to the severity of these crimes, it is
important
that the appropriate steps
are taken
to ensure that
people
have
some
protection when using the internet. Private sector
companies
could give warnings to all their customers that employees of their
company
will never
ask for
an account password. This alone would
prevent
many
of these scams.
Government
around the world could be more active by creating a global online police force that
tracks
down the individuals perpetrating these crimes and putting them in jail. This would not
only
remove
dangerous
criminals from society
but
would discourage others from perpetrating crimes online.

In summary, the internet is an amazing technological innovation that has transformed
people
's
lives
,
but
not without
some
negative
impacts.
However
, it is my belief that if the right measures
are taken
by both businesses and
governments
, the internet can
be made
into a safe place for everyone.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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