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The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v.7

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v. 7
The utilisation of the internet has been growing worldwide because it is the requirement of the jobs. There is a belief that many people have gained a plethora of information by the social network, and this has created issues which were not found in the past. The primary concern is that it is leading to harassment by anonymous people. However, the solution can be suggested by securing the network. To begin with, the main issue of this is that strangers exploit the social network to harass others. This is mainly because these people can make a fake identity on the internet to attract or target a person. In other words, they lie to them by appearing to be a well-known artist, as they believe that the person will believe it. After the relationship is improving, they can get some personal information from them to treat them in the end. To illustrate, an extensive study by the Dutch government showed that the number of people influenced negatively has increased by 60 per cent. Thus, that is why the internet has created issues. To solve this, the internet should be secured well to avoid potential problems. It can be protected by connecting the social media network with officials. Due to these solutions, nobody can lie on the system, and these people, who threaten them, can be afraid of doing any potential harm. For example, it will be easy to identify the person in this way. Therefore, the number will drop significantly because of security. In conclusion, although the harassment is getting bigger, it could be solved by robust security. Therefore, if the social network is secured well by the government, it should protect personal information with them.
The
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of the internet has been growing worldwide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the requirement of the jobs. There is a belief that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have gained a plethora of information by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
, and this has created issues which were not found in the past. The primary concern is that it is leading to harassment by anonymous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, the solution can
be suggested
by securing the network.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main issue of this is that strangers exploit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
to harass others. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fake identity on the internet to attract or target a person.
In other words
, they lie to them by appearing to be a well-known artist, as they believe that the person will believe it. After the relationship is improving, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal information from them to treat them in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. To illustrate, an extensive study by the Dutch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
influenced
negatively
has increased by 60 per cent.
Thus
,
that is
why the internet has created issues.

To solve this, the internet should
be secured
well to avoid potential problems. It can
be protected
by connecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
with officials. Due to these solutions, nobody can lie on the system, and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who threaten them, can be afraid of doing any potential harm.
For example
, it will be easy to identify the person in this way.
Therefore
, the number will drop
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of security.

In conclusion
, although the harassment is getting bigger, it could
be solved
by robust security.
Therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
is secured
well by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, it should protect personal information with them.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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