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The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v.19

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v. 19
There is no doubt that the internet is in a transformed form now and all people from all walk of life using it for consuming and sharing many different types of information. Although the internet facilitates to reach endless information sources, this emerged a new kind of problems such as, cyber-bullying and easy access to personal data by foreigners which did not exist before. This essay will give more details about the mentioned problems above and present some solutions for them. The invention of the web has created links between individuals, governments and as well as international organizations. Owing to the nature, such as the cyberspace, unfortunately, these links are unbreakable. To be more precise, any single data having uploaded to the web will stay there forever, even though it is deleted right after the upload. Therefore, no one can be sure about their data consume. The only precaution of this problem is using professional antivirus programmes which produce data security software. Even then, one hundred percent safety cannot be guaranteed by any antivirus company. Firstly, cyber bullying is another problem that came into the WWW. Victims of the problem mostly receive unpleasant comments under their photos or posts which intended to offend them. Secondly, it has become increasingly common, especially among teenagers. Thirdly, the government can take action on new regulations in schools to protect teenagers, and work on laws which will be able to result in heavier penalties for cyber-bullies. In conclusion, despite the internet’s convenience on the accessibility of information, this new technology brought up some problems. However, private companies and governments can offer some solutions for anyone who uses the WWW.
There is no doubt that the internet is in a transformed form
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all walk of life using it for consuming and sharing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of information. Although the internet facilitates to reach endless information sources, this emerged a new kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as, cyber-bullying and easy access to personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
by foreigners which did not exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This essay will give more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
above and present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions for them.

The invention of the web has created links between individuals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
as well
as international organizations. Owing to the nature, such as the cyberspace, unfortunately, these links are unbreakable. To be more precise, any single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
having uploaded to the web will stay there forever,
even though
it
is deleted
right after the upload.
Therefore
, no one can be sure about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
consume. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
precaution of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is using professional antivirus
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
which produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
security software. Even then, one hundred percent safety cannot
be guaranteed
by any antivirus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Firstly
,
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
is another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that came into the WWW. Victims of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
mostly
receive unpleasant comments under their photos or posts which intended to offend them.
Secondly
, it has become
increasingly
common,
especially
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
Thirdly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can take action on new regulations in schools to protect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, and work on laws which will be able to result in heavier penalties for cyber-bullies.

In conclusion
, despite the internet’s convenience on the accessibility of information, this new technology brought up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
However
, private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions for anyone who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
the WWW.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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