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The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. ​What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v.16

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. ​What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v. 16
The cost of expenditure on space studies is very massive. That much huge money can be invested in other categories like education and welfare, but studying space helps to predict natural calamities. This essay discusses why it is better to invest money in education and welfare field rather than space technology. To begin with, Studying space helps to improve the Meteorological field to a great extent. In other words, Advancement in space technology helps to improve prediction methods of a natural disaster like earthquakes and Tsunami. Even though Meteorologicalprediction help to reduce the outcome of the disaster, it helps to save many lives from severe problems. For example, In 2006, the world had witnessed a Tsunami due to the earthquakes in Indonesia. While NASA warned about this phenomenon through its Satellites. This helped the world to save many lives. Technology is the real blessing for the universe to get protection from natural calamities. However, The expenditure on space study is much higher than the expenditure spends on tutoring and welfare. To go into detail, Studying of space is not a cup of everyone. It is very high and sometimes cannot imagine it. While the equipment is expensive that can afford the cost of one core students for their free education. Developing countries like India spent huge money to establish their name in space technology, but 85 percent of Indian citizen is suffering from poverty. For instance, The Times reported that the USA is thinking to finish its space research program due to the shortage of funds. The USA government thinks that it is better to spend money on education and welfare activities. It is advisable for primary consideration must be given citizen's basic needs rather than space technology. In Conclusion, Even though studying space is expensive, it helps to improve the meteorological system to a large extent, but a large amount of money must be invested in this field which can be used for education and welfare activities. In my opinion, It is better to spend money on citizen rather than spending money on space studies
The cost of expenditure on
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space
studies is
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very
massive. That much huge
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money
can
be invested
in other categories like
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education
and
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welfare
,
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but
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studying
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space
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helps
to predict natural calamities. This essay discusses why it is better to invest
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money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
field
rather
than
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space
technology.

To
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begin
with,
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Studying
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space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the Meteorological field to a great extent.
In other words
, Advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
prediction methods of a natural disaster like earthquakes and Tsunami.
Even though
Possible spelling mistake found.
Meteorologicalprediction
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help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the outcome of the disaster, it
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helps
to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from severe problems.
For example
, In 2006, the world had witnessed a Tsunami due to the earthquakes in Indonesia.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
NASA warned about this phenomenon through its Satellites. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the world to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Technology is the real blessing for the universe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
protection from natural calamities.

However
, The expenditure on
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space
study is much higher than the expenditure spends on tutoring and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
. To go into detail,
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Studying
of
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space
is not a cup of everyone. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
cannot imagine it. While the equipment is expensive that can afford the cost of one core students for their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Developing countries
like India spent huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to establish their name in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
85 percent of Indian citizen is suffering from poverty.
For instance
, The Times reported that the USA is thinking to finish its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
research program due to the shortage of funds. The USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that it is better to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
activities. It is advisable for primary consideration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
citizen's basic needs
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
technology.

In Conclusion
,
Even though
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studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is expensive, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the meteorological system to a large extent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a large amount of
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money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be invested
in this field which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
activities. In my opinion, It is better to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on citizen
rather
than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
studies
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. ​What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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