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The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v.1

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v. 1
It is clear that the invention of the internet has led to dramatic changes in the way information is distributed and accessed. This essay will explore two of the problems which have resulted from these changes and propose measures which might address them. One concern in terms of sharing information is that private data may now be more vulnerable to theft. This is because information is increasingly stored electronically rather than physically, which means that it can be stolen by any hacker who infiltrates a website. Consequently, more news stories in today’s media relate to online security breaches than to physical robberies. To tackle this issue, companies which handle sensitive information must be legally required to install the strictest anti-hacking programs available. This should result in the protection of such information from cyber criminals. Turning to the consumption of information, one pressing problem is that much of what we read online is not true. Whereas in the past, we mostly read news articles established in newspapers, nowadays, anyone can publish information on a blog or forum without having it verified. If those who read such falsehoods accept them as truths, they might spread this information further on social media, in turn misinforming the public. This problem could be mitigated by requiring social network websites to hire fact-checkers, whose job would be to check the validity of any news article before it is shared online. In conclusion, two of the main information-related concerns that the internet age has created are the vulnerability of data and the proliferation of fake news. However, these problems can be Managed by the law-enforced installation of cutting-edge security software and recruitment of social network fact-checkers.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the invention of the internet has led to dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is distributed
and accessed. This essay will explore two of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which have resulted from these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and propose measures which might address them.

One concern in terms of sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is that private data may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be more vulnerable to theft. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
increasingly
stored
electronically
rather
than
physically
, which means that it can
be stolen
by any hacker who infiltrates a website.
Consequently
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
stories in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s media relate to online security breaches than to physical robberies. To tackle this issue,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which handle sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
legally
required to install the strictest anti-hacking programs available. This should result in the protection of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from cyber criminals.

Turning to the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, one pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that much of what we read online is not true. Whereas in the past, we
mostly
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
articles established in newspapers, nowadays, anyone can publish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on a blog or forum without having it verified. If those who read such falsehoods accept them as truths, they might spread this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
further
on social media, in turn misinforming the public. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
could
be mitigated
by requiring social network websites to hire fact-checkers, whose job would be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the validity of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
article
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
is shared
online.

In conclusion
, two of the main information-related concerns that the internet age has created are the vulnerability of data and the proliferation of fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be Managed
by the law-enforced installation of cutting-edge security software and recruitment of social network fact-checkers.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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