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The diagram shows rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in an Australian town v.1

The diagram shows rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in an Australian town v. 1
People have different preferences regarding the places to live. There are few, who are in favour of living in dry conditions, and many others like cool atmosphere. Both these places have their own benefits, which I will explain in the following paragraphs. However, I strongly opine that personal preference, and the stamina of the body to tolerate the heat and the cooling decides the type of place for living. On the one hand, I can understand, why a number of people give priority to hot places, as compared to the cold places, to live. Firstly, the cost of living in such places is comparatively lesser than cold places. This is the result of the farming of various types of vegetables, which particularly requires a hot climate, for instance, lady finger and cucumber. In addition, people don't have to buy woollen clothes, which are expensive. Lastly, the population of these places can enjoy outdoor activities, for example, swimming, sun- bath, and cricket etc. On the other hand, I can understand why others are in love with living in cool atmospheric conditions. One of the prime reasons, is the desire to live in a calm atmosphere. A few people go out of homes in winter, which particularly results in lesser traffic congestion on roads. Secondly, many diseases, for instance, skin allergies and breathing problems are less likely to develop in cold weather, which adds to the preference of cold places. To conclude, the factors like cost of living, calmness, and the choice of outdoor activities influence the choice of living of the individuals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
preferences regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. There are few, who are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in dry conditions, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others like cool atmosphere. Both these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits, which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the following paragraphs.
However
, I
strongly
opine that personal preference, and the stamina of the body to tolerate the heat and the cooling decides the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for living.

On the one hand, I can understand, why a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give priority to hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Firstly
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is
comparatively
lesser than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. This is the result of the farming of various types of vegetables, which
particularly
requires a hot climate,
for instance
, lady finger and cucumber.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Possible spelling mistake found.
woollen
clothes, which are expensive.
Lastly
, the population of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can enjoy outdoor activities,
for example
, swimming, sun- bath, and cricket etc.

On the other hand
, I can understand why others are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in cool atmospheric conditions. One of the prime reasons, is the desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a calm atmosphere. A few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go out of homes in winter, which
particularly
results in lesser traffic congestion on roads.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases,
for instance
, skin allergies and breathing problems are less likely to develop in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
weather, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to the preference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
places.

To conclude
, the factors like cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
, calmness, and the choice of outdoor activities influence the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
of the individuals.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay The diagram shows rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in an Australian town v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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