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Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should be encouraged to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the country side. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.8

Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should be encouraged to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the country side. v. 8
Nowadays, the rate of crime and misconducts has escalated to a terrifying extent. In this essay, I will clarify some reasons for this issue, and different feasible ways to tackle the problem. The increased amount of crime can be attributed to certain factors. Firstly, unemployment is a significant cause of the problem. This is because when individuals do not have a fixed income, they tend to commit crimes such as theft and robberies. Secondly, the lack of proper education is another important factor, since people, who did not have ample learning, have more procrastination to become wrongdoers. For instance, a research, which was conducted by a team of statisticians in Berlin in 2013, revealed that seventy percent of criminals are poorly educated. Therefore, crime can be a result of joblessness and ignorance. However, one of the most effective solutions to decrease the number of crimes is to impose more stringent laws. This is due to the fact that some criminals do not find a deterrent law to prevent them from committing misconducts. To illustrate, in some countries, there are no death sentences for killers. Thus, murder rates are increasing in those countries. So, if there had been tougher penalties, the crime rate would not have dramatically increased. For that reason, restrictive punishment should be applied to the criminals, who threaten the safety of the whole society. To conclude, despite the fact that there are a lot of causes of crimes, appropriate actions have to be taken in order to decline crime rates.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and misconducts has escalated to a terrifying extent. In this essay, I will clarify
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for this issue, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
feasible ways to tackle the problem.

The increased amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can
be attributed
to certain factors.
Firstly
, unemployment is a significant cause of the problem. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when individuals do not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
income, they tend to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as theft and robberies.
Secondly
, the lack of proper education is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor, since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who did not have ample learning, have more procrastination to become wrongdoers.
For instance
, a research, which
was conducted
by a team of statisticians in Berlin in 2013, revealed that seventy percent of criminals are
poorly
educated.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can be a result of joblessness and ignorance.

However
, one of the most effective solutions to decrease the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is to impose more stringent laws.
This is due to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
criminals do not find a deterrent law to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from committing misconducts. To illustrate, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, there are no death sentences for killers.
Thus
, murder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are increasing in those countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if there had been tougher penalties, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
would not have
dramatically
increased. For that reason, restrictive punishment should
be applied
to the criminals, who threaten the safety of the whole society.

To conclude
, despite the fact that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, appropriate actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be taken
in order to decline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should be encouraged to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the country side. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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