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Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems people should be encouraged to in suburbs or countryside rather cities To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems people should be encouraged to in suburbs or countryside rather cities v. 1
Some are of the opinion that people should be motivated to make their abode in the rural areas rather than the urban places to unravel the challenges of congestion and transportation. I strongly agree with the statement because life in the suburbs experience less vehicular gridlock and minimal pollution. Life in the rural parts of the countries can be said to experience less traffic jams unlike what is frequently found in the towns. Vehicular movements in the villages are not as many as you will find in the towns, consequently there are little or no gridlocks in these parts. For example, a research conducted by the New York traffic police department found out that there were higher traffic congestions in the cities because of the high number of vehicles. The rate of air pollution in the suburbs are next to none. People who live in the remote parts of the countries usually experience a pollution free environment, this in most cases is often as a result of fewer vehicles and industries that emit carbon monoxide, therefore, resulting in a healthy environment to live in. To illustrate, a survey carried out in Kenya in 2001 concluded that 80% of people who live in the villages live a healthier and longer life than their counterparts in the cities. In conclusion, I can safely say that I agree, without a doubt, that citizens should be encouraged, by any means possible, to live in the villages because this does not only reduce their stress levels, but it is also beneficial to their health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their abode in the rural areas
rather
than the urban places to unravel the challenges of congestion and transportation. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
life in the suburbs experience less vehicular gridlock and minimal pollution.

Life in the rural parts of the countries can
be said
to experience less traffic jams unlike what is
frequently
found in the towns. Vehicular movements in the villages are not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as you will find in the towns,
consequently
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no gridlocks in these parts.
For example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted by the New York traffic police department found out that there were higher traffic congestions in the cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high number of vehicles.

The rate of air pollution in the suburbs are
next
to none.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the remote parts of the countries
usually
experience a pollution free environment, this
in most cases
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
as a result
of fewer vehicles and industries that emit carbon monoxide,
therefore
, resulting in a healthy environment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in. To illustrate, a survey carried out in Kenya in 2001 concluded that 80% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the villages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a healthier and longer life than their counterparts in the cities.

In conclusion
, I can
safely
say that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, without a doubt, that citizens should
be encouraged
, by any means possible, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the villages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
levels,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
beneficial to their health.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems people should be encouraged to in suburbs or countryside rather cities v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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