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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. v. 35

It is argued by some that teaching children to be cooperative and compliant helps them in becoming successful adults, while others are of the opinion that being competitive plays a major role. In my opinion, while having an ambitious and competing outlook does have a few benefits, there are comparatively more drawbacks to it. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and explain my support for the latter view with relevant examples. It is believed that encouraging students to compete with each other makes them study harder. This is majorly due to the fact that, in many schools, pupils who excel in academics and sports are popular and favoured by teachers. For instance, a child who has performed well in his/her class has more chances of being selected for a scholarship or a football enthusiast, performing well in interschool competitions is picked up by a sports academy. On the other hand, training children to be more adaptive and cooperative relieves them of the strain that a competitive attitude can cause. It is also beneficial to them in the long run, considering adaptability and teamwork are skills that are preferred by employers when hiring. For example, throughout the school phase my parents always guided me into teamwork with classmates. This significantly helped me realise my goals and calmly work towards achieving them. In conclusion, although there are chances that favourable goals are achieved by kids who are encouraged to compete, it is still outweighed by the physical and mental stress it causes. In my opinion, it is better to train them to adapt and cooperate, skills that are very useful in adulthood.

IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.35

It
is argued
by
some
that teaching children to be cooperative and compliant
helps
them in becoming successful adults, while others are of the opinion that being competitive plays a major role. In my opinion, while having an ambitious and competing outlook does have a few benefits, there are
comparatively
more drawbacks to it. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and
explain
my support for the latter view with relevant examples. It
is believed
that encouraging students to compete with each other
makes
them study harder. This is
majorly
due to the fact that, in
many
schools, pupils who excel in academics and sports are popular and
favoured
by teachers.
For instance
, a child who has performed well in his/her
class
has more chances of
being selected
for a scholarship or a football enthusiast, performing well in
interschool
competitions
is picked
up by a sports academy.
On the other hand
, training children to be more adaptive and cooperative relieves them of the strain that a competitive attitude can cause. It is
also
beneficial to them in the long run, considering adaptability and teamwork are
skills
that
are preferred
by employers when hiring.
For example
, throughout the school phase my parents always guided me into teamwork with classmates. This
significantly
helped
me
realise
my goals and
calmly
work towards achieving them.
In conclusion
, although there are chances that
favourable
goals
are achieved
by kids who
are encouraged
to compete, it is
still
outweighed by the physical and mental
stress
it causes. In my opinion, it is better to train them to adapt and cooperate,
skills
that are
very
useful in adulthood.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
273 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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