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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.28

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. 28
Few people have an opinion that competitive spirit in children should be fostered. On the other hand, others are of viewpoint that they need to be cooperative instead of competing in their childhoods so as to become more beneficial adults. In my opinion, a healthy competition is required to bring out their best, but co-operation and helpful attitude is equally important. Firstly, human tend to have a competitive behaviour and like to showcase the things they are better compared to others. This human tendency stimulates them for continuous improvement so as to remain best. Similarly, children are no different and with the sense of competition around then, it is plausible that their learning capability increases. Additionally, nascent children's minds learn to fight against the odds and learn the spirit of competition which would help them in their further lives. Contrastingly, it very likely that extra competitive pressure from parents and teachers on the students that are not able to perform well compared to other students might render them dubious of their personality. Furthermore, in everyday live co-operation proves to be more handy rather than competition. For instance, in a married life co-operation with your partner is more important than competitive spirit. Moreover, there is a possibility that if only competition is given importance than it mind render them to be jealous of the success of their colleague. To conclude, competition among children is important, but it should not be given as utmost importance. The children should be taught that helping and co-operation is also very important and will produce a far better results.
Few
people
have an opinion that
competitive
spirit in
children
should
be fostered
. On the
other
hand, others are of viewpoint that they need to be cooperative
instead
of competing in their childhoods
so as to
become more beneficial adults. In my opinion, a healthy
competition
is required
to bring out their best,
but
co-operation and helpful attitude is
equally
important
.

Firstly
, human tend to have a
competitive
behaviour
and like to showcase the things they are better compared to others. This human tendency stimulates them for continuous improvement
so as to
remain best.
Similarly
,
children
are no
different
and with the sense of
competition
around then, it is plausible that their learning capability increases.
Additionally
, nascent children's minds learn to fight against the odds and learn the spirit of
competition
which would
help
them in their
further
lives
.

Contrastingly
, it
very
likely that extra
competitive
pressure from parents and teachers on the students that are not able to perform well compared to
other
students might render them dubious of their personality.
Furthermore
, in everyday
live
co-operation proves to be more handy
rather
than
competition
.
For instance
, in a married life co-operation with your partner is more
important
than
competitive
spirit.
Moreover
, there is a possibility that if
only
competition
is
given
importance than it mind render them to be jealous of the success of their colleague.

To conclude
,
competition
among
children
is
important
,
but
it should not be
given
as utmost importance. The
children
should
be taught
that helping and co-operation is
also
very
important
and will produce a far better results.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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