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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. v.25

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. v. 25
Nowadays, there is a common debate among the people regarding 'Competition' and 'Cooperation'. They are always in a dilemma of choosing what is best for their children. While some people argue that we need to inculcate cooperation among children, others consider that it is beneficial if there is a spirit of competition rather than cooperation. In my opinion, I believe that competing behaviour will make them more successful. Looking on the bright side, helping children to cooperate with each other in accomplishing the task is largely fostered these days. Team collaboration is much more accepted than competition. Moreover, cooperation has the ability to improve the helping nature among the children. Also, it inculcates habits like following instructions, sharing the tasks, not feeling overwhelmed with success or depressed by failure. It helps them to be accountable, for example, cooperating improves respect towards job and co-workers which makes them responsible adults. On the flip side, the kind of healthy competition may help to build children's self-confidence, while pushing them to work independently and progress more quickly. When these children leave school, their confidence and determination will help them in competitive situations. Furthermore, one important benefit of competition is a boost to innovation. Therefore, develops decision making skills and emotional control at a very young age. It helps them to focus on instruction rather than assistance, and inquisition rather than acceptance. In conclusion, the reason why people encourage cooperation can be understood in a wider view, but deeply both the competition and cooperation are doing equally well. In my view, considering both the positive and negative impacts, if children are nurtured properly to deal with success and failure, taught about respect towards work and people, they are likely to achieve their goals as adults with a competing behaviour.
Nowadays, there is a common debate among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regarding 'Competition' and 'Cooperation'. They are always in a dilemma of choosing what is best for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that we need to inculcate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, others consider that it is beneficial if there is a spirit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
. In my opinion, I believe that competing
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more successful.

Looking on the bright side, helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to cooperate with each other in accomplishing the task is
largely
fostered these days. Team collaboration is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
has the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the helping nature among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Also
, it inculcates habits like following instructions, sharing the tasks, not feeling overwhelmed with success or depressed by failure. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to be accountable,
for example
, cooperating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
respect towards job and co-workers which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them responsible adults.

On the flip side, the kind of healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to build children's self-confidence, while pushing them to work
independently
and progress more
quickly
. When these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
school, their confidence and determination will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in competitive situations.
Furthermore
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is a boost to innovation.
Therefore
, develops
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and emotional control at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to focus on instruction
rather
than assistance, and inquisition
rather
than acceptance.

In conclusion
, the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
can
be understood
in a wider view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
deeply
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
are doing
equally
well. In my view, considering both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are nurtured
properly
to deal with success and failure, taught about respect towards work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they are likely to achieve their goals as adults with a competing
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. v. 25

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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