Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion v.22

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. 22
Nowadays, the norm of competing for almost everything is becoming quite common among the children, whereas other section of people still believes in teaching the power of cooperation, rather than being competitive in the society. I believe both the approaches are somewhat right and wrong depending on the part of society an individual living in and also the culture they are following. As the population increases, so does the demand, and everyone needs the best to fulfil their needs and wants. Encouraging the feeling of being competitive among children Will prepare them in advance to face the hurdles of life, also they will try to do better in education, sports et cetera. Researches have proved, children living in a competitive environment tend to gain better knowledge of the activity they are performing compared to those who aren’t. However, if being competitive on one side is beneficial for the children, it also harmful for them in the long run. Competitive children usually find difficulty in cooperating with people on an emotional level, which leaves them in being alone. Closely knitted cultural people often teach their children to learn the feeling of cooperation. Cooperating with others builds friendship and trust and helps them in fighting with difficult phases of life. People tend to like those who cooperate rather than being competitive. In the conclusion, both the approaches are useful and harmful at the same time. Extreme ideologies are always dangerous for the society, whether it’s good or bad. I believe finding a balance is crucial, so its best if people start teaching the advantages and disadvantages of being competitive and cooperative, so that a Child can learn both the sides of the coin and then choose wisely.
Nowadays, the norm of competing for almost everything is becoming quite common among the
children
, whereas other section of
people
still
believes in teaching the power of cooperation,
rather
than being
competitive
in the society. I believe both the approaches are somewhat right and
wrong
depending on the part of society an individual living in and
also
the culture they are following.

As the population increases,
so
does the demand, and everyone needs the best to fulfil their needs and wants. Encouraging the feeling of being
competitive
among
children
Will prepare them in advance to face the hurdles of life,
also
they will try to do better in education,
sports et
cetera. Researches have proved,
children
living in a
competitive
environment tend to gain better knowledge of the activity they are performing compared to those who aren’t.

However
, if being
competitive
on one side is beneficial for the
children
,
it
also
harmful for them in the long run.
Competitive
children
usually
find difficulty in cooperating with
people
on an emotional level, which
leaves
them in being alone.
Closely
knitted cultural
people
often
teach their
children
to learn the feeling of cooperation. Cooperating with others builds friendship and trust and
helps
them in fighting with difficult phases of life.
People
tend to like those who cooperate
rather
than being competitive.

In the conclusion, both the approaches are useful and harmful at the same time. Extreme ideologies are always
dangerous
for the society, whether it’s
good
or
bad
. I believe finding a balance is crucial,
so
its best if
people
start
teaching the advantages and disadvantages of being
competitive
and cooperative,
so
that a Child can learn both the sides of the coin and then choose
wisely
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts