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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions. v.16

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. v. 16
How to behave with other people should be taught to children early. While some support the factor of competition, others insist on the importance of cooperation. Although two opinions have their own positive sides, I would agree with the second one. On the one hand, competition can become a motivation for children to boost themselves. Obviously, no one can resist the satisfaction and happiness of becoming a winner. Moreover, the shame of losing or being worse than others is often listed in most people’s fears. Taking part in a contest provides children with targets to complete and opponents to win. For example, thanks to the Olympics, several candidates from all around the world can challenge themselves and be trained to their highest limits. On the other hand, I believe every child should learn to work, instead of competing with others. Firstly, teamwork skill is undoubtedly essential, especially when having a job. In fact, every walk of life requires teaming with others, namely, prepare a group presentation in class, live with family members or build ideas for a marketing project. Therefore, a good cooperation can lead to higher efficiency in work. Moreover, through working with others, children can learn various basic moral lessons, for example, respect other opinions and protect your own. To conclude, both competition and teamwork can have a positive effect on children, however, for the sake of their future, I believe handling cooperation skill well can do them better.
How to behave with
other
people
should
be taught
to
children
early. While
some
support the factor of competition, others insist on the importance of cooperation. Although two opinions have their
own
positive
sides, I would
agree
with the second one.

On the one hand, competition can become a motivation for
children
to boost themselves.
Obviously
, no one can resist the satisfaction and happiness of becoming a winner.
Moreover
, the shame of losing or being worse than others is
often
listed in most
people
’s fears. Taking part in a contest provides
children
with targets to complete and opponents to win.
For example
, thanks to the Olympics, several candidates from all around the world can challenge themselves and
be trained
to their highest limits.

On the
other
hand, I believe every child should learn to work,
instead
of competing with others.
Firstly
, teamwork
skill
is
undoubtedly
essential,
especially
when having a job. In fact, every walk of life requires teaming with others,
namely
, prepare a group presentation in
class
,
live
with family members or build
ideas
for a marketing project.
Therefore
, a
good
cooperation can lead to higher efficiency in work.
Moreover
, through working with others,
children
can learn various basic moral lessons,
for example
, respect
other
opinions and protect your
own
.

To conclude
, both competition and teamwork can have a
positive
effect on
children
,
however
, for the sake of their future, I believe handling cooperation
skill
well can do them better.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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