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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion v.15

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. 15
It is a highly debatable issue whether children should be taught to compete or cooperate with life. In my opinion, both competition and cooperation are important virtues of life. What is more important is to teach where they need to compete and where they need to cooperate. Competition is very important in life. Children can be taught to compete when they prepare for exams or play any games. They have to learn to compete to excel in studies or win an athletic event. This rectitude comes in handy in adult life. For example, when they do any business, they need to compete with other businessmen to succeed. At the same time, successful businessmen are useful adults of society who must learn how to extend their cooperation for various noble causes. To elaborate, there are many fields where cooperation is needed. Children can be taught this virtue when they play team sports like cricket and hockey. Teachers can teach this value when they are given group assignments to students. This quality helps students become useful adults in their life. For instance, software developers need to work as a team to bring benefits to all of us who use technology nowadays. There are also situations where students need to compete and cooperate simultaneously. For example, when children play team sports, they need to cooperate with their team members to compete with the opposite team. As we all know, today’s era is highly competitive, and we live in a global village. In fact, many Indian automobile brands have merged to compete with German and Japanese industries. So, competition and cooperation go hand in hand. In conclusion, children need to be taught about both, how to compete as well as cooperate with others, and more importantly, these students must know where in life they have to apply these attributes.
It

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
is
a
highly
debatable issue whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperate
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my opinion, both competition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
virtues of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
What is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is to teach where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
and where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to cooperate.

Competition is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
when they prepare for exams or play any games. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
to excel in studies or win an athletic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. This rectitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in handy in adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, when they do any business, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
with other businessmen to succeed. At the same time, successful businessmen are useful adults of society who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn how to extend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
for various noble causes.

To elaborate, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
is needed
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
be taught
this virtue when they play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
sports like cricket and hockey. Teachers can teach this value when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
group assignments to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become useful adults in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, software developers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to work as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
to bring benefits to all of us who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology nowadays.

There are
also
situations where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperate
simultaneously
.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
sports, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperate
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
with the opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. As we all know,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era is
highly
competitive, and we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a global village. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Indian automobile brands have merged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
with German and Japanese industries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, competition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
go hand in hand.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be taught
about both, how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperate
with others, and more
importantly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know where in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
apply these attributes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. 15

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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